


High and Dry

by heyyitsangel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Disgusting amounts of fluff, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, Few References to Twist and Shout, Fluff, Implied Suicide Attempt, M/M, Mild Language, Minor Violence, Oral Sex, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recovery, Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Content, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-05-27 08:08:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 26,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6276367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyyitsangel/pseuds/heyyitsangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things have slowed down for Sam and Dean Winchester. This is an AU where world has entered a time of peace and order has been restored among Heaven, Hell, Earth and Purgatory. Sam and Dean welcome the switch from angels and demons to salt and burns. After agreeing to look for a cousin of Garth Fitzgerald, our heroes find themselves in the middle of a vampire nest, unaware that their lives will be changed forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Dean**

 

I looked around cautiously while Sam quietly picked the lock to the rundown motel. 

 We had gotten a call from Garth, about a hunter named Dakota Bass. The kid went missing after tracking a nest of vampires. Dakota was a distant cousin of Garth's and he was worried that the hunter had died. Garth had tracked his cell phone down to an abandoned motel forty miles south. 

Garth had offered to come as back up, but I told him no as softly as I could, saying we didn't need the extra man-power and that Garth should try his hardest to enjoy his apple pie life. We love Garth but we were both still uncomfortable with him being a werewolf.

We had done this a million times, so our movements were perfectly timed and synchronized. I led, flashlight in one hand and handgun in the other, crossing my arm holding the flashlight over the handgun for optimal function. Sam flanked me, mimicking my stance. 

We moved silently through the run down motel. The place was a wreck. The ceiling looked like it was on the brink of collapsing, the walls were crumbling, and there were blood bags scattered everywhere. 

It was extremely quiet in the motel with the occasional crumble of concrete. We continued until we came upon two hallways. Sam looked at me, raised his eyebrows and stuck his chin out towards the door leading to hallway on the left. 

_He wants to split up._

I hesitated, looked around and then nodded toward Sam, "I don't think anything is here right now, but be careful." 

Sam nodded and started down the hallway on the left.

•••

I walked carefully down the hallway on the right, still stepping over blood bags.

"Pigs," I growled under my breath while kicking a blood bag and continuing. Halfway down the hallway to the right, I was greeted by a shit load of doors.

I rolled my eyes and then decided to check the rooms for Dakota's body. I checked every room and was disappointed to find nothing.

The last room was locked. I could've kicked the bitch down but I didn't want to make a lot of noise. It was a thick door. It took me longer to find the key card hanging next to the door than I'd like to admit. After a few tries I finally got in.

 I've seen a lot of messed up shit, but this was at the top of the list.

The room was a disaster, stains everywhere. The place looked like it was raided. The bed was disgusting and there was a small girl, five-foot at most, stripped down to her underwear, blindfolded and bound to it. 

Her curly hair was dark and matted, obviously long. Her skin was caramel colored, but raw and dirty. Infected skin covered her ankles and wrists from where the restraints rubbed. Her arms, legs, chest, and neck were covered in bite marks, scars, and bruises. A large purple bruise covered her ribs. They were definitely broken.

To my disbelief, her chest rose and fell slowly. 

The condition that this girl was left in made me sick. 

After getting through the shock, I went to let her go and accidentally kicked a piece of concrete that had fallen from the ceiling.

The girl’s head snapped up and her mouth turned into a dangerous smile.

"Whatsa matter, bloodsuckers? Scared of a defenseless girl?" she taunted.

I was caught off guard. I expected crying and begging, not this. The girl looked scary 

She paused and her smile slowly turned into a snarl.

She spit in my direction and cursed under her breath.

I was finally able to find my voice, "My name is Dean Winchester, and I'm here with my brother Sam, we're hunters."

She was completely still. 

I walked to the bed and cleared my throat. 

"Have they turned you?" I tried to make my voice sound authoritative.

"No." Her voice shook a little.

"Okay," I said, gentle this time, "I'm going to untie you now. Can you walk?”

"Um, yeah." She shifted uncomfortably.

Oh, crap, right. She’s half naked and blindfolded. I quickly freed her arms and legs. She sat up and inhaled sharply as her hand went to her ribs.

After her breathing steadied. She reached up and removed the blindfold.  Wincing from the sudden light, she revealed deep honey colored eyes. After a couple seconds I realized I needed to call Sam. He needed to know what was going on. 

Sam answered quickly.

"Hey nothing on my end, you find anything?”

"No Dakota, but, a girl actually. I'm bringin' her back to the entrance."

Jane Doe's eyes widened and filled with tears at the mention of Dakota's name.

I met her eyes.

"He's dead," she croaked out.

"Dammit," I ran a hand over my face, and pulled off my leather jacket, placing it around Jane Doe’s shoulders, "Sammy, Jane Doe says he's dead. We gotta call Garth. I'll meet you in a few."

I hung up the phone and looked down at Jane Doe. "C'mon, I'll help you up. Easy."


	2. Chapter 2

**Sam**

 

Now in the Impala, we were dead silent. Dean’s brow was furrowed, meaning he was too pissed off for small talk. I looked back at Jane Doe, smiled warmly and offered her a bottle of water, "You must be thirsty." 

Jane Doe seemed to loosen up as reached for the water bottle, never taking her eyes off of mine. She was tense. 

"How long were you kept there...um...?” I faltered, realizing we hadn't ask for her name. She softened more.

"Y/N. My name is Y/N. And...I'm not sure...Maybe two months." Y/N clutched at Deans leather jacket around her. Her honey colored eyes were glassy.  _She looked overwhelmed and broken…we can’t just drop her off somewhere…_

"Well, look, Y/N, if you want, you can come crash with us for a while ‘til you get better," I looked at Dean for approval and he stared back for a moment before his eyes returned to the road. I smiled at her again. "Seriously, it's no problem. We've got a lot of space."

She thought about it for a minute before responding. "Thank you Sam, that's very kind." She said quietly.

••• 

**Dean**

 

As we got inside the bunker, Y/N padded behind us, barefoot, throwing up an arm to shield her sensitive eyes from the fluorescent lighting. I finally got a good look at her. 

She was a cute little thing but honestly...she looked like shit. Her ribs were poking out a bit, even though she had a darker complexion, she was pale, and she looked like she hadn't had a decent shower in months. That thick hair was matted into a damn rat’s nest. I furrowed my brows. This whole fucked up mission left me surly. Too damn skinny. 

“Hey, when's the last time you ate something?" I immediately felt bad about my loud tone as Y/N jumped, her hand flew to ghost an imaginary weapon at her side, and she moved towards Sam instinctually. She feels safer around him. The movement made her wince but she never reached for her brokenribs. Her eyes never left mine. 

She was damn near feral.

My eyes met Sam's as I said, "Hey, Sammy, how about you show Y/N where the bathroom is and give her some stuff to shower with. We can go to the store tomorrow and get her some clothing and any essentials she needs." 

I paused, and waited as Y/N returned Sam's gaze before nodding. "I'm gonna make some grub. Check her wounds, her wrists look infected." I smiled warmly at Y/N. Her hand dropped from her side as she loosened up and looked at Sam to lead her to the bathroom. I took that as my queue to head towards the kitchen.

 

**Sam**

 

I led Y/N to the bathroom and closed the lid on the toilet, intending to sit on it. 

Y/N hurriedly sat down, and I smiled and patted the counter top. When she looked at me with confused eyes I explained," You're too small…I can't kneel by the toilet and get a good look at your wounds."

"Oh," Y/N laughed at herself. She got up stiffly and then hopped up on the counter top.

She was avoiding my eyes. "Aren't you going to hit me with the third degree?" She wondered.

I waited until she met my eyes. "No..." I began, "We can talk a little at dinner, if you’re up for it. Right now, you can focus on cleaning up, okay?"

"Okay." Y/N visibly relaxed.

I looked her over carefully, gingerly taking Dean's coat off...There were so many bite marks…

Y/N felt my change in tone," Hey," she said with mock annoyance, meeting my eyes, "My eyes are up here, bud.

I was a little embarrassed that I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks. I smiled at her as I stood up.

"Everything looks okay. Just wash with soap. There's shampoo and conditioner in the shower, also...a uh...comb." I offered apologetically, looking at Y/N's hair. "I'll wrap your wrists, ankles and ribs when you finish."

"Thanks Sam," she smiled. I left her alone after that.

•••


	3. Chapter 3

**Y/N**

I let the warm water hit my body and stifled a moan. I worked the soap over my limbs and after thirty minutes of tugging, the comb ran through my hair smoothly.

All of the filth and grime had been washed off of me but I couldn't help but stand under the spray, remembering the last two months. My mind flashed back to sounds of sucking, moaning, and feeding. My vision had been compromised these last two months, so my other senses overcompensated.

•••

_***begin flashback*** _

_"You know...I think I want to take you from behind," the vampire started, I could hear the smile in his voice, "Tell me you want me so bad. Tell me you can't wait for me to be inside you."_

_I snarled behind the blindfold and spat out, "Fuck. You. I'm still going to take out this nest. It's just a matter of when." I hated his stupid English accent._

_The vampire sucked air through his teeth, no doubt feeling annoyed, then proceeded to press a thumb into my broken ribs. He laughed as I struggled against the restraints, grunting._

_"You are human. Don't forget that I choose when your life ends here," he sucked my earlobe into his mouth and groaned, shivering with pleasure, "you're lucky I love you so much, little dove." I felt him grow hard._

_The vampire untied me and flipped me into the mattress, his weight overwhelmed me and hurt mybroken ribs, "Now," he purred, pulling my hair back hard, exposing my throat, "Beg for my cock."_

_I remained silent until the vampire slowly bit into the exposed flesh of my neck. He was drawing out the pain on purpose. Instead of the quick sting that vampire bites normally had, it was agonizingly slow. I could feel every fang penetrate my skin._

_I began screaming and struggled for what seemed like hours until I finally gave in, "Please. Just do what you're going to do. I'll like it," a tear slid down my cheek and I felt a dull pain in my soul. I went limp and drifted off to my happy place._

_The vampire purred happily, "that's a good girl," he adjusted my hips and pulled down my panties. He used one hand to free himself from his underwear and the other stayed gripping my hair, exposing my throat so he could feed while he fucked me._

_He lined my hips up with his fully erect member and then with a force that should've split me in half-_

_***end flashback*** _

•••

I was having some sort of panic attack. I came back to reality and realized I was scrubbing my arms and hands violently. I took a few deep breaths to calm my breathing, putting a hand on the shower wall to steady myself. I shuddered and shut the water off quickly.  _You're okay. Calm down._

I stepped out of the shower and realized I had zero cream to tame my hair. "Shit," I hissed under her breath.

I looked under the sink and was amazed to find leave-in conditioner. Then I remembered Sam's long ass hair and laughed to myself quietly, coming to the realization that his locks looked that good for a reason. Both of the boys looked good honestly.

Dean was built like a tank. Thick ropey muscle covered his body. His skin was tan, like Sam’s, but his nose had a dusting of freckles. I noticed that his green eyes were framed by crow’s feet, probably from laughing, but his face was a hard mask when I had met him 

Sam was very tall and very muscular. His features were finer then Dean’s. He stood at about six foot four. His long brown hair was shoulder length. His hazel eyes were warm.

I smoothed the product into my hair and giggled. It smelled like papaya. I wiped at the fogged up mirror to look at myself.

I had lost at least fifteen pounds. I had only weighed 120 before the vampire incident. Almost all of it muscle. I threw my arms up and flexed in the mirror. 

_Oh my god, I’m puny._

My curly, thick, black hair had grown two inches, coming down to my elbows now. My complexion was normally darker, but my skin had paled in the months without sunlight. I looked the scars on my neck and forearms and was pleasantly surprised to see they looked much better now that grime was washed off. Sam’s coconut soap does wonders. I set my hands on the counter and my left hand came in contact with soft material.

It was red flannel, a white t shirt, and black boxers. Some socks were folded neatly next to the pile. Aw, how sweet.

The boxers fit like shorts but the red flannel was obviously Sam's, so it fit like a dress and went past my knees. I decided to go with the white v-neck. It was way too big, but not as comical as the flannel. Obviously Deans. It smelled like the leather jacket and confirmed my suspicions.  _Jesus these guys are giants._

I took one final look in the mirror before putting the socks on and padding out of the bathroom, following the scent of something that smelled amazing.

•••

I walked in on Dean and Sam talking. Dean was facing the stove, looking down at whatever he was cooking. Sam had one arm gripping the counter while the other proceeded to run through his hair. He looked exasperated. And sassy, I thought with amusement.

"Dean, I don't know how she's still standing. Look, I'm just saying, no one goes through that kind of trauma without coming out messed up. She needs to stay here and she doesn't need the twenty questions." 

"I'm not disagreeing with you, Sammy. All I said was we need to figure out what's going on with her, we gotta get some background on her, figure out her story." He looked up and rolled his eyes. "Don’t look at me like that. I know you’re tryna pork this chick and all-“

“DEAN.” Sam’s eyes were wide and a blush crept up on his cheeks.

“Look I'm trying to be safe here. You saw her hand fly to her side like she was gonna pull a knife on me. Somethin's going on with that chick." 

"She's literally a foot shorter than both of us and literally one hundred pounds. Give her some time, man. It's not like she's dangerous an-AND I am not trying to “pork” her.” Sam said accentuating the statement with finger quotes. “Who even says that anymore? You’re disgusting. She looks like she just hit eighteen." 

I cleared my throat.

Sam and Dean immediately straightened. Sam’s blush returned.

"First of all, I'm 24," I started with a laugh, "I know I owe you guys an explanation...and you'll get one. Can I have something to eat though? I can't think straight because it smells so damn good in here.” 

Dean looked pleased with himself until I pointed a finger at him and said, “’Porking’ is a disgusting word.” 

Sam looked smug about Dean’s ashamed look until I pointed at him and said, “Don’t look smug, you still gotta wrap my wrists, ankles, and ribs."

Dean smiled big and winked at me before turning to wiggle his eyebrows at Sam.

•••

The two boys stared across the table in disbelief as I devoured three cheeseburgers, half a salad and a plate of fries.

"Where...where do you put it all..?" Sam asked eyes wide.

He glanced at Dean and realized he was looking at me with amusement.

I sipped my water before saying," well, I used to be an athlete. Gymnastics, swimming, rugby, soccer," I popped another fry in my mouth and swallowed before continuing, "I'm kinda like a hummingbird, I suppose. I get insanely hungry. Nothing sticks. Normally my diet is a lot better, kind of a health-nut-" I was interrupted by a loud groan from Dean so I snorted. 

The dinner had been very casual and surprisingly comfortable. I was really warming up to the boys as they were warming up to me. The brothers filled me in on their story. Saving people, hunting things, the family business, Dean had said with a smirk. 

I had tried to keep the conversation light, but the boys had been so upfront with me that I felt like I owed them my story.

"Anyways, I really like food..." I trailed off and bit my lip, playing with a fry.

Dean looked at me curiously. Sensing the change in my tone, he put down his burger and said, "It's okay, you're safe here. Tell us everything."

I exhaled, smiling nervously at Dean and Sam, "Okay, I'm going to start at the beginning. My name is Y/N Wood, and my father was a hunter." 

Dean and Sam's eyes widened, neither saying a word while they waited to hear the rest of my tale.


	4. Chapter 4

**Y/N**

"Markus Wood was his name. He was a great hunter and an amazing dad. The strongest man I ever knew. He taught me everything I know. He put my schooling first and waited until I graduated high school to begin taking me along with him on cases. I never wanted to be anything but a hunter. My athleticism made everything easy. I turned out to be a damn good hunter...well I was until..." I trailed off, looking at myhands on the table and struggling not to tear up.

"It’s okay sweetheart, take your time." Dean comforted.

I exhaled and continued, "My father was turned by a vampire and in turn killed by me." I paused uncomfortably at the sympathetic looks that the brothers were giving me.

"Don't,” I said firmly. “It was hard but it had to happen." I paused briefly before continuing.

"Anyways, I became obsessed with finding out who turned him. I had spent six months tracking the nest when I finally received a text from Dakota to meet him at the Alley Cat. A local pub. His text said he was bringing some back up to take down the nest with me. It was finally happening. I was going to avenge my old man." I exhaled and ran a hand through my drying curls. The boys were still listening intently. 

"When I got into the pub, I was ambushed. The entire pub was filled with them. I fought for as long as I could, until one of them picked me up and threw me like a rag doll, dislocating my shoulder. When I wouldn't go down, the fucker curb stomped me." I absentmindedly rubbed my freshly wrapped ribs.

"The nest was hunting us as well. Dakota...he was ripped apart by those fuckers. They stole his phone and were using it to trap me-the girl who vowed to kill the entire nest. It was like a game to them." I clenched my fists.

"They knocked me out, took me to their nest, stripped me down, tied me up and...well...you know the rest. I was a blood bag and they...they had other ideas."

I wasn't aware that tears were rolling down my cheeks until Sam gently handed me a tissue. Dean’s eyes were red as he stood up and he pulled me in for a hug. I broke down in his arms and cried into his chest.

•••

**Sam**

 

I started to clean up the dishes and Y/N helped, against my protests. Dean had gone to take a shower, saying the stink of vamp was still on him. 

I settled next to Y/N easily, taking the washed dishes from her and drying them in silence. She was focused on her work and I got a chance to really look at her. That hair.

It was thick, curly and wild, much different now that all of the dried blood and other bodily fluids didn't mat it. 

_Bodily fluids._

I grew angry and tried to focus on something else.

She was adorable but there was something about the way she carried herself. She was full of life even through she'd been through so much.

She was broken but she was in good hands. If there was anyone who knew how to deal with someone who was broken, it was the Winchesters. I smiled sadly. I was broken once too.

After a minute or two of being lost in thought, I realized that Y/N hadn't passed me a dish to dry in over a minute. I looked over to her. 

Her breath was coming out in quiet strangled huffs and she was aggressively washing her hands. 

She looked panicked. 

Alarmed, I dried my hands and lightly touched her forearm, "Y/N? Y/N are you okay?"

 •••


	5. Chapter 5

**(Y/N)**

 

_***begin flashback*** _

_"Mmmm...Y/N, you feel so good. Fuck." The vampire pumped a few more times into my lifeless body before finishing on my back with a strangled grunt. He was panting, "ugh say my name, little dove," the vampire commanded._

_I lay there silently breathing._  

 _He waited a moment before flipping me over. "Say my name, Y/N." He growled._  

_I stayed silent._

_"You wanna play games, dove? Let's play the game where if you don't say my fucking name like I asked you to, I will break your jaw and choke you with my cock. Now. Say. My. FUCKING. NAME." He was screaming in my face by the end of the threat and the smell of gin flooded my senses, making menauseous._

_"Morgan," I whispered._

_"I can't hear you, little dove. Say it one more time for me."_

I _t was a power play. I felt him grow hard._

_Morgan." I said, trying to keep my tone even._

" _Oooooh. I love it when you play nice..." He paused, and giggled, "Dove, you know I love you right? No one could possibly love you as much as I. Your scent is intoxicating. That's why I forced my children to stop playing with your pussy.” He cooed. “It made me jealous. You're mine. You just have to play by the rules and I won't hurt you. I'll even keep making love to you; just the way you like."_

  _Morgan was out of his fucking mind and I was terrified.  I was never getting out. No one knew where I was. I was going to be this guy’s blow up doll until he got bored and killed me. Jesus, I hoped that came soon._

  _Tears began to spill down mycheeks._

  _"Y/N? Are you ready for round two, little dove?” He purred, “(Y/N)?...(Y/N)? Answer me....Y/N?!"-_

_***end flashback*** _

•••

"Y/N?!" Sam's shout brought me back to reality. I snapped out of it with a start.

My chest felt heavy, and I was on the floor looking up into a pair of hazel eyes and a pair of green ones. Both equally worried.

I sat up and put a hand to my head. It was spinning. I looked at both of them and weakly asked, "Fuck, guys, what happened?" 

Sam was the first to speak, "You were scrubbing your hands raw..." His voice was strained, "I was afraid to touch you, so Dean..." He looked panicked.

"When I came out of the shower, Sam was shouting your name, so I grabbed your arm and then you dropped into a fetal position." Dean was looking at me intently, forcing me to meet his eyes.

"Oh...god..." I breathed, "I'm sorry guys. I don't know what that was. It happened earlier while I was in the shower...I just had a sort of flashback, but I was there..." I felt like an idiot not being able to find the right words.

"Look, Y/N…I think you might be suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder." Sam said evenly. “My brother and I both suffer from our fair share, but yours is to a different degree. It paralyzes you.” He paused waiting for my reaction.

“I can’t hunt like this.” I said, beginning to panic again.

Sam seemed to know that I was going to respond this way, “Look, we have a friend who may be able to help you," He looked at Dean carefully, "Dean, you need to call him." 

Dean looked at him with confusion, understanding, and then rage, "I am NOT praying to that prick."

I raised an eyebrow as he continued, "He wants to up and leave with that bitch Hannah and offer zero explanation as to why he can't pick up a goddamn phone!?"

"Dean! Y/N needs him and he only answers to you!" Sam argued, looking incredulous.

"Who-who do I need?" I asked carefully looking at Sam.

"I believe they mean me." A gruff voice I didn't recognize came from the other side of the kitchen.

I looked in the direction of the voice and scrambled to my feet, "who the hell are you?" I narrowed my eyes at the mystery man. I didn’t mean to sound like a bitch but he had startled me. 

He was standing at the other end of the kitchen, firmly grasping a takeout container.  

He had dark messy hair and piercing blue eyes that contrasted beautifully with his muscular, tan skin. He was wearing a black leather jacket over dark jeans and a dark gray Metallica t shirt. He finished the look with all-black chucks. 

He looked back at Dean and saw that he was staring at the man with what looked like adoration but it was quickly replaced with resentment.

This man was so good looking, it caught me off guard. 

The beautiful man returned the gaze with Dean intently before he continued speaking, "My apologies for startling you, Y/N. Since my partner, Dean, is too angry with me to be polite, I will introduce myself. My name is Castiel Winches-“

“Novak.” Dean spat at him angrily before storming out.

Sam looked at me, looped a finger into his collar and pulled. Showing me he felt equally awkward about this situation.

Castiel squinted after Dean in confusion, but seemed unaffected by the outburst. He then trained his eyes on me,“Y/N, my name is Castiel Winchester and I am an angel of the Lord."


	6. Chapter 6

**Morgan**

 

I sat at the dirty bar and ordered another triple gin and tonic. 

The love of my life had left me and I was a drunken mess. I didn’t know where we went wrong. I felt an emptiness in my chest as I replayed the past two months in my head. 

Our sex life was fantastic. We made love almost every night. That couldn’t be it.

Our emotional connection knew no bounds. I talked to her about all of my feelings. I shared my inner most self with her. 

I knocked back the drink and signaled at the bartender to get me another. He rolled his eyes and called my right hand over to the bar.

Andrew walked over to lean on the bar and stared at the bartender predatorily, his dark red sweater complimenting his tan complexion and chocolate colored eyes. The black jeans he had on clung to his hips tightly. He was muscular. His hand slid through his perfectly coifed hair, “You beckoned, Maxxy?” he purred in an English accent.

I stared at Andrew irritably. He was always flirting with everyone. It drove me up a fucking wall.

Max rolled his eyes, “Andrew, look, you know I…respect your head honcho a lot…but he’s cut off after this drink. I can’t talk to him when he’s like this. Get him the fuck out of here before he barfs.” The bartender said this in a hushed tone.

“Alright, alright Maxxy,” Andrew threw his hands up in a defensive gesture, “just let the man finish his drink, he’s nursing a broken heart for Christ’s sake.” Andrew pretended to pout. 

When Max’s shoulder’s loosened, Andrew flashed a smile before winking at him. “Now, Max, darling, can I get another martini, extra dry, pretty please?”

Max rolled his eyes again, smiled gruffly and went to get the olives.

"Hey, mate, it’s not that big of a deal,” Andrew started, “I mean…she was kind of a bitch…she broke my nose with her forehead for Christ’s sake! She was a pain in the ass and you can get a blood bag ten times hotter to fuck around with. C’mon mate, you look terrible. Let’s go home.”

I looked at Andrew dangerously, “She was EVERYTHING to me. Do not you get that?” I slurred, “I lof her, okay? She is the reazon I breathe. Insult her again one more time and I swear I’ll break your fuckin’ legs, mate.” I went back to my drink.

Andrew looked hurt for a moment before reigning it in and flashing a gorgeous smile, “Alright, darling, I’m sorry. Look, the crew is getting tired and the pickings for dirty sluts to feed on are slim…so I’d thought we’d shove off and go home after this round, huh?” Andrew flashed another smile at me and I couldn’t refuse. I nodded as he went off to flirt with the bartender again.

She was going to realize that we had to make it work. I couldn’t be the only one trying. We were so happy before, I just had to make her see that. I was going to make it work. But first, I was going to finish this drink.

•••

**Dean**

 

I stormed down the hallway and made a beeline to my room. I slammed my door and began pacing. I feel like I’m having a stroke. I could hear my heart beating hard in my ears. 

I hadn’t seen him in six weeks and my stomach was doing somersaults. I wasn't sure whether I wanted to fuck him or kill him. 

I was so caught off guard that he just appeared out of nowhere. Before my eyes began to tear up, I took a few deep breaths to calm my heart rate. 

Once I was calm, I had a hunch that the angel might appear out of nowhere again, so I quickly stripped the AC/DC shirt off of my pillow and tucked it in between the mattress and the box spring. It was one of my old shirts he slept in.

I heard the sound of feathers rustling and felt a slight breeze. I took a deep breath and then turned to face my husband.

 

**Castiel**

 

Dean turned to look at me and his face was a hard mask. This face generally made me uncomfortable. I could tell he had spent time out in the sun. His short, dirty blonde hair was almost two shades lighter and there was a light dusting of freckles on his forearms now. I was prepared to deal with his anger but then his face melted into a smirk. He crossed his arms and leaned back to sit against his desk. He raised his eyebrows and returned my gaze. I firmly grasped the container I held in my hands. 

This expression made me more uncomfortable. 

He’s acting as if my absence has had little effect on him. I held his gaze for a few more moments, gaging his mood. 

"Hello, Dean." I said softly.

“Castiel.” He said shortly

I didn’t know what to say next, so I searched his eyes again. It was “our thing” as Sam once put it. He looked towards the wall and ran a hand through his hair. I was making him uneasy.

“Did you need something, Cas?” It pleased me to hear him use the shortened version of my name. 

“My absence has clearly upset you, Dean.” I remembered the container. “But I brought you pie. Apple actually.” 

He said nothing, but his jaw began clenching and unclenching, so I continued, “I know that you love pie, and I love you so I thought that it would be a good way to express how sorry I am tha-“

“You really aren’t going to explain yourself, are you? You think pie can fix this?” He whispered in disbelief.

Dean stood up straight as his hands turned into fists at his sides. “You think a slice of fucking pie can make me forget that you left in the middle of the night without saying anything to me?” 

I knew enough about Dean now that I knew his question was meant to be rhetorical. It was best to remain silent.

“Heaven needs me?” Dean raised his voice and his eyes were shining. He was referring to the note I left on my pillow six weeks before. I grew frustrated and placed the container on the desk next to him.

“Yes, Dean. Heaven needed me and still does. I’m an Angel of the Lord. I left a note Dean, and I thought that it would be sufficie-“

“A fucking note, Cas?!” Dean interrupted, “A fucking note? You’ve been gone for SIX WEEKS, Castiel.” He was shouting now and I grew angry. Although Dean could only see them through film, I felt the feathers of my wings begin to ruffle.

“I returned to you after three weeks before returning to heaven.” I said evenly.

“You returned to me three weeks ago with Hannah, told me it would be best if I didn’t pray to you anymore, and then disappeared again, with her. You aren’t telling me anything.” His voice was uncharacteristically shrill. “I have never trusted anyone as much as I trust you. I woke up to all of your shit gone. Thought you'd finally wised up. You know how much that hurt me, Cas? Your silence hurt me. Don’t you get it? I assumed my husband left me, for Hannah.” 

I stared at him, shocked. I loved Dean. I would never leave him for Hannah. “Dean, you know that you mean-“ 

“I know what?” He interrupted me again. His eyebrows raised incredulously. “You still mean everything to her, Cas! I prayed to you every goddamn night. I called your cell phone like a maniac.” He reached for the ring on his left hand and laughed, “Oh, and this obviously means nothing to you.” He removed the ring and shoved it into my chest. 

In my human form, the force from Dean pushing me would have sent me to the ground. I fumbled with the ring before catching it quickly and looked at him, my feelings were hurt as well. He continued, 

“How can you stand there and lie to-“

“I have never lied to you, Dean Winchester-and don’t you dare mention the damn leviathans.” It was my turn to interrupt him as my wings stretched to their full size, fueled by my wrath. “You are everything to me.” I was shouting now. “When you were being ripped apart and put back together on the rack in Hell, I raised you from perdition.” He winced from the memory of his time in Hell as if I had struck him. “I held your soul in my hands, Dean. It was so small. It was so broken. It was broken beyond the point of recognition, and I put it back together, piece by piece. I held you in my hands and knew from then on that you were mine to guard. Never think that any other creature in Heaven, Hell, on Earth, or in Purgatory means more to me thanyou do.”

Dean face was a hard mask, but tears were falling from his eyes. His lips were pressed into a tight line. He shook his head slowly. 

He was swallowing as if there was something caught in his throat and his hands trembled slightly. I had seen him look like this once before: when he made me erase Lisa and Ben’s memories. It was heartbreak.

Neither of us spoke for what seemed like an eternity. 

I broke from Dean’s gaze for a moment to look at the small silver band I held in my hand. Some of the same Enochian symbols that were carved into Dean’s ribcage were etched into the inside of the ring. 

It read, Mine to protect forever, Guarded by Castiel. The last part was a new warning. It read: Those who wish to harm Dean Winchester will face my unholy Wrath. I will smite those who even think about harming him. What is done to him will be returned one hundred-fold. No questions asked. This I swear, as long as we both shall live.

I smiled weakly at the ring and brought my eyes back to Dean’s. You have no idea how much you mean to me.

Dean finally broke the silence.

“Cas, I can't do this anymore, you need to tell me what’s been going on. Please.” Dean’s voice was gravely.

Before I could respond, I heard a familiar ringing in my ears. Not yet, please. Not yet. I need him. He needs me. I can’t leave him. 

The ringing ignored my begging and only grew louder. 

“Dean,” I started. I grabbed his left hand and put the wedding band back on quickly, “I love you. Please know that I cannot explain right now, it would put you in danger, love. Heaven is calling me, Dean,” The ringing grew to an intolerable volume, “I will return in a few hours, as soon as I can, I will help Y/N and we will fix this.” I rushed out.

“So that’s it?” Dean croaked out, “We’re just done talking about this?”

The ringing only grew, “I have to go, Dean. Please remain my partner. I still would like to be Castiel Winchester. I will explain everything as soon as it’s safe. I love you.” I placed my hands at the sides of his face and kissed his forehead. Before the ringing killed me, I spread my wings.

 

**Dean**

 

The warm kiss was replaced with a gentle breeze and my angel was gone.

•••


	7. Chapter 7

**Sam**

 

It had been hours since Cas had left and we were all wired. Y/N and I sat across from Dean and watched as he took a giant swig from his second fifth of Jack Daniels. He had polished off the first one right after Cas left. 

He lowered the bottle from his lips and then slurred, “And then-and then he just leaves. Poof!” he stood up, his thigh rocking the table and spilling Y/N's water, “I’m so sorry, Ellen,” he hiccupped, “I mean, Y/N.” He walked over to her side of the table and picked up the glass. 

I saw her tense up. She took a deep breath, relaxed and looked at Dean fondly. 

I felt my shoulders loosen when I saw her relax.

Dean placed the glass on the table and then gently put it on its side. He then used one hand to hold the glass steady and the other to attempt to scoop the water back into the opening of her glass.

Y/N snorted. Shaking her head, she stood up and disappeared into the kitchen.

Dean walked over and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, “Saaaammmeh,” He whispered harshly, “Falling in love-being in love makes-it makes everything hard.” He used his free arm to take another swig. Whiskey dribbled down his neck and he quickly wiped it off on his sleeve.

“Dean, you’re trashed and smell like a bar,” I smiled at my inebriated brother, “Cas loves you, man, he’s coming back soon and you’re going to do something stupid if you keep drinking like that.”

He scoffed and then offered me the bottle, smiling. I took the bottle and took a swig of Jack Daniels. The liquid warmed my chest. I tried to pass the bottle back to him but he waved me off and sat back down in his chair, he put his boot on the table and tried to tie his boot.

Y/N returned with a towel, a glass of water and a mug that had steam rising from it. She set the towel on the table and walked over to Dean trying to tie his shoe. She put her hand on his shoulder and he smiled goofily at her. He understood and put his boot on the ground and sat up.

She placed the glass of water and the mug in front of him. He looked at the mug questioningly.

She smiled and said, “Coffee. You should be sober for Cas’ first night back.”

He paused and looked at her skeptically before drinking the whole glass of water. She smiled. 

After a few minutes of sipping the coffee, he stood up with the coffee and kissed Y/N on the top of her head. The action made me think of Charlie. We've lost too many people.

“Alright, I’m going to my room to play the guitar Cas got me. Maybe he’ll hear it and come back sooner.” 

He started walking to his room.

“Brush your teeth!” I called after him.

Y/N and I were left alone.

She sat back down and said, “Can I get a swig?”

I completely forgot I was holding the whiskey. I stretched to pass her the bottle. She took it and flashed a smile at me. I returned it. I was really beginning to like that smile. 

She took three big gulps from the bottle before wiping her mouth with the back of her hand and passing it back to me. 

I brushed my hair behind my ear and grabbed the whiskey, meeting her eyes. “Hey I really appreciate you being so great to Dean. These past couples of weeks have been really hard on him.”

Her face was flushed from the alcohol. She waved me off saying, “Oh, it’s not an issue at all. You guys have been amazing to me. I know I’ve only known you for literally a day, but I really like you guys.” 

“Well, we like you too,” I chuckled.

She seem pleased and propped her feet up on my knee and crossed her ankles. She picked up the book she was reading before Dean had burst in drunk. Pride and Prejudice.

I placed my hand under her heel and held her feet while I readjusted; so she didn’t have to stretch. Once I was comfortable, I continued looking at articles on my laptop. 

We sat in comfortable silence until we heard muffled guitar strumming and singing. It was Dean. He was keeping his word and singing to Cas.

_Wise men say,_

_Only fools rush in._

_But I can’t help,_

_Falling in love, with you._

I instantly recognized the tune and tears sprang to my eyes.

_Shall I stay?_

_Would it be a sin?_

_For I can’t help,_

_Falling in love, with you._

It was the song that Dean and Cas first danced to at their wedding.

_Like a river flows,_

_Surely to the sea._

_Darling, so it goes,_

_Some things,_

_Are meant to be._

He had always had a great voice, but he was really belting now.

_Take my hand,_

_Take my whole life too._

_For I can’t help,_

_Falling in love with you._

_No, I can’t help,_

_Falling in love with you._

I looked at Y/N. She had tears spilling down her cheeks. She noticed me watching and smiled at me weakly, “That kind of love…it’s beautiful. You can hear it in his voice.” She wiped her tears on the back of her hand

 

I passed her the whiskey and found myself tearing up too. I took the empty bottle back after she finished the rest and got up to grab another bottle. It had been a long day for everyone. 

 •••


	8. Chapter 8

  **Y/N**

 

_***begin flashback***_

_Morgan's breath was getting shallow as He came close to finishing._

_"Mmmmm...dove," he purred._

_I was motionless. I automatically slipped out of reality, reliving memories of life before my father's death._

_He was an amazing man. Even though he was a single dad who hunted, he took care of me better than some kids with two parents._

_He kept in touch with me even though we moved from motel to motel and would even have Bobby Singer, look after me._

_My favorite memories were from the week following his return from a hunting trip.He would come home beaten to hell and I would get out my medical bag and play doctor; fixing all of "daddy's boo boos"._ _I had perfected my sutures at the age of five. I would happily babble on and on about what I did while he was gone while I worked over his wounds._

_He always looked invested in whatever I was saying. He responded accordingly, asking questions even though he was exhausted and could barely keep his eyes open._

_Sometimes he would cry, and I would stop talking and wrap my short arms around him. I would nuzzle his leather jacket and let him cry._

_After a while, my dad would take a few deep breaths, straightening up and wiping his face. He would smile enthusiastically and stand up, stopping halfway to plant a kiss to the top of my head._

"How about you show me that finger painting you and Uncle Bobby made, squirt?"

_The memory began to fade as I was brought back to reality by the sound of the bed frame creaking with each thrust._

_His breathing hitched as he pulled out. I felt semen pool on my stomach and he collapsed on top of me. I grunted as he let his weight drop on my small frame._

_He was breathing heavily, the smell of gin invading my senses._

_He finally lifted his head and placed a small kiss on my cheek, then moved his lips to press over mine. I kissed him back forcefully, shoving my tongue in his mouth and fisting my hands in his hair._

_He pulled back, stunned and kissed me again, slowly._

_"Don't move." He said breathily._

_He pushed himself up off the bed and wiped his semen off of me._

_I heard the sound of his jeans rustling and his fly zipping._

_"I really feel like we're connecting here, dove. I dunno, something has changed." He started, retying my hands to the bed._

_"I feel the same," I responded, letting adoration drip into my voice._

_"I just-you know? I wish I didn't have to go on the wretched boys night..,"he pouted,"look, I'll be back in a few hours and we can talk then alright?"_

_"Sounds good," I replied sleepily._

_After a few more kisses he left my room and I waited._


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you or someone you love is struggling with suicidal thoughts, remind them that they are loved and that their existence means something.
> 
> Suicide Hotline: 1 (800) 273-8255

_I heard their bikes departing and used all of my strength to pull the rope that restrained my right hand. At first it didn't budge, but I was determined. After a few more times, it came loose and my right hand was free._

_Morgan's knots were always a little loose on the right when he had to retie me. I tore off my blind-fold, momentarily disoriented by the light. It was time to look for an escape._

_I began trying everything I could think of._

_I couldn't kick down the door and the windows were barred._

_After a few hours of trial and error, I began trying to figure out the lock, sliding an old key card through the door._

_I thought I started to hear a click when I heard the bikes return._

_I was so fucked._

_I could tie myself up again and wait for another opportunity, but freedom was close and I was stubborn._

_After a few more tries, I realized I was out of time._

_I scoured the room again, panic beginning to set. I began looking for a miracle and I found it._

_Morgan left his leather jacket on the floor._

_I dumped the pockets and found two one dollar bills, a debit card, and three_

_dime bags of cocaine._

_I could hear the bloodsuckers coming into the motel._

_I looked at the items I held in my hands and made a split decision._

_I ran to the other edge of the room and grabbed the chair. I wedged it underneath the doorknob._

_I cleared a space on the nightstand and dumped the contents of the three dime bags hurriedly. I used the debit card to grind it into a powder and separated it into six lines. I fumbled while I rolled up the dollar bill, as I took a deep breath._

_The first two lines were rough. My eyes were watering and I had an scary high going but it wasn't enough to OD._

_In my haze, I could hear Morgan screaming on the other side of the door._

_I still had four lines to do._

_***end memory*** _

•••

My eyes flew open as I sat straight up in what looked like dentists chair. My shirt was soaked with sweat and I was gasping for air. I was slowly becoming less disoriented as I remembered why I was here.

Castiel had begun the process of healing the trauma to my psyche. The main part of fixing me was bringing up the repressed memories so they could bridge the gaps in my memory of the ordeal. Castiel said that these memories were going to be painful and my throbbing head proved him right.

I looked up to find Castiels blue eyes fixed on mine.

"I apologize," Cas started, averting his eyes and handing me a water bottles. "Recovering these repressed memories has proven to be the most difficult part of the process of healing you. I forced the boys to wait outside." He had seen my darkest moment in captivity.

It was a private memory.

I struggled with an explanation, feeling shame wash over me.

 Castiel squinted, reading my face, and eventually picked up on what I was feeling.

 "Y/N, There's no need to go into it if it causes you great discomfort. I won't mention it to the boys. Are you ready for the next session?"

 I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding in. 

 "That was way more intense than I thought it would be," I said, voice sounding raspy, "I'm ready for a drink."

•••


	10. Chapter 10

I held the beer bottle lazily as I watched the game.

It was a dive bar about five minutes out from the bunker. After reliving my suicide attempt I needed to sort through and process it.

When I had left Castiel alone in the exam room, I noticed that Sam had left his post outside and I realized I was looking for him.

Dean had put down some Asian comic book porn he was reading when he met my eyes, carefully going over my expression.

I ran a hand through my hair and struggled with an explanation of what I needed. I didn't know what I needed right then. 

He stood up and reached in his pocket, removing keys and tossing them to me.

"There's a bar about five minutes East of here. Go. You can't take Baby, but feel free to take the bike. I'll get Sam and we'll meet you there. We'll give you your space, but I've started plenty of bar brawls trying to blow off steam," he smiled at me,"we'll be there if you feel like you need backup."

Now we were at Dorman's and the Winchesters were playing pool across the bar. Dean would throw a few looks my way to make sure I wasn't bashing in anyone's skull. Sam only looked up when men approached me, glaring enough to make a few of them leave on their own. He would smile at me afterwards, the look of serial killer melting away.

I was grateful for the help, _not to mention I looked hot as hell on a motorcycle_.

I looked pretty damn good tonight. I had on a pair of white chucks, tight black jeans that were ripped (Dean said I looked homeless), and a white v-neck under a black leather jacket. My hair was curling down my back and I was sporting red lipstick and cat eyes.

_Yeah. I looked damn good._

I was nursing my fifth beer and I realized I was pretty drunk when a blonde girl approached Sam. She was drop dead gorgeous and looked perfectly at ease around him. 

He didn't notice her yet but It was pretty hard to sneak up on the Winchesters. He glanced over to me to make sure I was still there and then noticed her. A big smile stretched over his face as he pulled her into a fierce hug.

I felt anger boiling in my chest. Who the hell did he think he was? He was always smiling at me all goofily and making me lose my train of thought, that was our thing! The fucking nerve, I thought as I took a big pull from my beer bottle, finishing it.

I was definitely drunk and Sam Winchester was practically drooling all over this bombshell.

I mean, she was gorgeous all tan skin, blonde hair and long legs. It wasn't her fault she was blessed with this goddess-like beauty.

I ordered another beer.

I was honestly pretty happy she could bless the world with her beauty. _You go girl_ , I thought. It was Sam Winchester that deserved my fury. That pig. Drooling over her like she's meat. 

I downed the rest of the beer and hopped down from the stool. Leaving the bar to go get some fresh air.

I was out back with the bartender and smoked a cigarette. I had quit three year ago but damn were they good while drunk. We had bonded immediately when I admired his pink converse.

I was drunkenly telling Leo about the nerve of some dudes when Sam walked up.

"Hey," he prompted, eyeing Leo suspiciously, like nothing had happened,"what's going on? You good?"

I put out my cigarette and used my beer to rinse out my mouth. I looked to Leo before responding and he sassily gave me a look that said "stand up for yourself girl" as he walked back into the bar.

We were alone and hell if wasn't going to stand up for myself and mystery blonde woman.

I sauntered over to the youngest Winchester and poked a finger up into his chest.

"You are a pig." I started, fueled by liquid courage.

He furrowed his brows, looking confused and didn't respond.

"I saw you flirting with that goddess-like creature, she's gorgeous by the way please ask where she gets her makeup," I waved him off, "Go flirt, don't let me cock block."

"You're jealous?" He suggested, a smile pulling at the ends of his lips.

"HELL NO. She's gorgeous. You just always give me goofy smiles and I thought that was our thing." I said, taking another swig. _Oh man, I was too drunk for shame._  

He raised his eyebrows and smiled at me, amused.

"You didn't seem interested," he said quietly. He had taken a step forward and was leaning   So that his face was close to mine. I could smell the liquor on him. He was a little drunk too. He smelled warm and sweet, like honey and whiskey.

"Well, psh, I'm not." I was very smooth while inebriated. I looked up at him and suddenly got my second wind from my liquid courage. I reached up to cup his face.

He leaned into my touch, closing his eyes.

"She isn't my type," he murmured, taking my hand, "I kind of like short girls with curly hair and bad tempers."

I blushed. That sounded like me.

He was looking at me with the puppy dog eyes, and finally a dam broke.

I stood up on my tiptoes to kiss Sam Winchester and he let me. He kissed back, but wasn't forceful or aggressive. His lips were full and soft. He tasted like honey. He was the gentlest of gentle giants.

••••

Our kiss quickly melted into something way hotter.

Sam had me pushed up against the wall, brick biting into my back. His hands moved from my hair, to my face, and slid down my

body in a calculated way; he was worshipping me. I arched into his touch, sighing into his mouth.

He pulled back slightly and let his eyes roam over my face with concern. His hazel eyes were dark with lust and he was flushed.  He was breathing heavily, trying to calm himself down.

He had been there for me, never asking for or expecting anything in return. He was a shoulder to lean on and I adored him for it. 

He was beautiful.

"I'm okay, big guy," I started, standing on my tip toes to peck his lips,"I want this, please."

He was cupping my face, letting his thumb caress my cheek. I titled my chin up.

"Okay, Y/N, I trust you," he paused leaning down to meet my kiss, "but I want to take this slow."

I dropped my head into his chest and exhaled deeply. I thought I was getting laid.

He laughed loudly and kissed me again.

"C'mon, let's get Dean and go home."

•••


	11. Chapter 11

**Dean**

 

I laid on my back in bed and decided to check the clock again. I was wide awake and aware of Cas' presence in the bunker.

It was 4:48 am and I hadn't gotten laid in two months.

Cas was back during the day but at night he would read in the living room. He used to watch me sleep. It's not creepy anymore, I missed it. 

We hadn't talked about what happened. He was scared to bring it up.

We hadn't touched since the night of the fight. I didn't know how to fix this.

Marriage was hard.

Whenever I started spacing out, I thought of dark hair, baby blues and creamy skin. I thought of Cas.

I felt a tight ball of pent up energy in my gut as I slipped my hand into my boxers and stroked myself. I needed a release. 

I was half hard, thinking of Cas on our honeymoon, leaning against the counter of our cabin licking peanut butter off of a spoon while I did dishes. He wasn't human at the time, but couldn't stop tasting peanut butter, hoping it would get better every time he tried it.

_He was wearing nothin' but my flannel sleep pants. They were too big on him, the waist dipping low to revealing his v-line and a dusting of dark hair. A little bit of peanut butter got on his chin._

_I smiled at him before gently getting his attention, "Cas," I said lightly._

_He immediately looked into my eyes as I tapped my finger on my chin, letting him know he was making a mess. He used his thumb to wipe at it before putting it in his mouth and sucking it clean, closing his eyes and sighing contentedly._  

I felt my cock twitch in my hand at the thought _._

_He was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I put down the dishes and didn't bother rinsing off my hands and arms as I grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him into a kiss. He jerked in surprise but melted into it, his chapped lips parting as he groaned quietly. My cock was so hard it hurt. I pulled back and looked into his baby blues. He was looking at my hard on, focusing his grace to send a warm sensation to my dick._

_"That was unexpected, but enjoyable, Dean," he said gruffly before meeting my eyes. I smiled and played with the curling hair at the nape of his neck._

_"You're gonna kill me, angel," I murmured, closing the distance between us and taking his hand to play with his long fingers. He stopped and pulled away to look at me cautiously._

_"I should hope not. Our marriage would be over because the rules say til death do us part. We've only been married for a short time and I plan to love you for lifetimes. I need you, Dean."_

I started stroking faster as I felt a familiar 

build up in my lower gut. I let my head fall back. As I was getting ready to come, I felt a draft and heard the sound of flapping wings. My hand stopped as my head snapped up. I came face to face with familiar baby blues.

•••

Cock still in hand, I stared at him, my mouth open. 

"Hello, Dean," he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck uncomfortably, "I could feel you calling to me." He said hoarsely as he wet his lips, breaking eye contact to look at my dick peeking through my boxers. I stood up slowly and squared my shoulders.

He looked very flustered. He walked in on me jacking off and it caught him off guard.

He cleared his throat, "Dean, I know you are angry and have every right to be. I don't want to fight anymore, I need-"

He was interrupted as I quickly closed the space between us and pinned him against my desk. I grabbed the front of his shirt as my mouth crashed down on his, my tongue claiming his mouth. 

He jumped in response but quickly adapted and moaned, hands moving underneath my shirt. I was so overcome with need and lust, there was no time for talking. 

I was being rougher than I normally am with Cas but he seemed into it. He was rutting against my thigh shamelessly. It was pretty hot.

A low hum came from the back of his throat as he worked on his belt buckle. I fisted a hand in Cas' ratty t shirt and pulled him close.

I used to much force and ended up ripping the front. I told him to throw out that goddamn t shirt. I pulled it off and thew it to the ground. 

He pulled away from my mouth to look at his shirt, furrowing his eyebrows irritably, and I took this opening to thread my fingers through his hair and pull hard, exposing the smooth skin of his throat. 

I began sucking marks onto his neck, claiming him further. I felt overwhelmingly possessive.

"You're mine," I growled against his throat.

"Ye-yes, Dean, I need-" his breath hitched as his eyes began to glow bright blue. 

With a completely different strength, he shoved me towards the bed, the back of my legs hitting the baseboard as he used his grace to force me to lay on my back, I sat up on my forearms to get a good look at my angel.

Cas looked wrecked and out of control as he sank to his knees, pulling my underwear down and freeing my dick.

He was so sexy. 

He took me in his hand and studied me. He used his free hand to cup my balls and massage them as I let my head fall back and growled in pleasure. 

I felt his hand replaced by the tip of his tongue, he was looking me in the eyes as he slowly took me in his mouth, hollowed his cheeks, and sucked me down.

Biting my bottom lip, I reached for him with one hand, tangling my fingers in his hair and forcing his head to bob faster. I didn't need to be teased. I needed to be fucked.

••• 

**Castiel**

 

_Although, I did not expect this, I am not one to complain._

Dean seemed desperate as I felt his hand turn into a fist in my hair, pushing my head down to "deep throat him" as he called it. 

Dean was not small.

I forced my shoulders and neck to loosen so that he could better fuck into my mouth. 

I looked up through my eyelashes to read his face. 

He was an impressive human. He was built like a lion. The thick ropes of muscle in his abdomen and thighs were twitching like coiled springs. His blonde hair was sticking up all over the place from my hands running through it. His jaw was slightly slack and he was breathing heavily. He was flushed. His eyes were dark and predatory.

The amount of blood in my member was agonizing. 

I concentrated and sent my grace down to my testicles, a warm sensation causing me to groan around Dean's penis.

He hissed as I felt his member grow bigger. He was close to coming. I began flattening my tongue to receive his come, lapping at the sensitive underside of the head to maximize his orgasm. 

I took my grace away from my testicles to create a vibrating sensation against his penis as I felt him getting closer. As he began taking the Lord's name in vain, like he often did, I sent more of my grace to massage his prostate.

Dean shouted and I felt a sharp pain in my scalp as he abruptly pulled me off of him, the release of suction creating a popping sound.

"Fuck, sweetheart, you're gonna kill me." He said as he took a few breaths to calm himself. He was shaking slightly.

I squinted at him in confusion. I was aware of the spit dripping from my mouth and used the back of my arm to wipe it away. "You were close, Dean. Are we 'edging' again?"

He laughed shakily, but his face remained serious," No, Cas, I just want to make sure you're enjoying this as well. You're my husband, not some hump and dump. As much as I enjoy this..I miss you and we've got some shit to work out."

I felt myself grow soft. I didn't understand the hump and dump term but I decided it would be better to ask him later. 

"Dean, I've missed you." I said suddenly feeling vulnerable, "I need to inform you about what going on in heaven." I felt shame. I couldn't meet his eyes.

He leaned up immediately to pull me into our bed with him. He pulled the blankets up over us and pulled me into his chest, his nose buried in my hair and lips pressed into my forehead. He inhaled deeply and sighed contentedly. He wrapped his arms and legs around me. I felt grounded but still could not meet his eyes.

After a moment of twirling the ends of my hair around his fingers, he spoke again, tilting my chin up.

"Alright, talk to me. What's been going on, Cas?"

•••


	12. Chapter 12

  **Sam**

I woke up with a start, sitting up in bed and then immediately regretting it. I had a massive hangover.

I exhaled sharply and rubbed my hands over my eyes.

I looked at the other side of the bed and saw the most beautiful sight.

Y/N was stretched out on her back, mouth open, and snoring loudly. She looked completely relaxed and unburdened. She was wearing my Stanford hoodie.

I smiled as I got up, looking for a shirt to pull on. 

Last night she didn't want to sleep alone because of the memories. She told me everything about the last one, and I spent all night trying to convince her that it wasn't her fault and that we didn't think any less of her.

Dean and I weren't exactly good examples of healthy coping methods.

I pulled on a white v-neck and some jeans and decided it was a good day to get some work in. Dean and Cas were locked away in their room and it was supposed to be a pretty boring day but I wanted to get ahead. Today was going to be a productive day.

I took one last look at her before I decided to wake her up. I quickly planted a kiss on her cheek and then pain exploded throughout my face.

I had scared her awake, trying to be cute, and she gave me an elbow to the center of my face. I stumbled back into the wall and cupped my nose in my hands.

"Fuck, my face, I think you broke it," I groaned through tears. I slid down the wall into a sitting position.

She scrambled off the bed and shoved her messy curls out of her face, hovering over me. "Oh fuck, Sam your nose looks like a faucet, hang on, don't move,

Winchester." She ran out of the room and I heard her head down the hallway.

I carefully peeled my hands away from my face and inhaled gently through my nose. I realized with a twinge of panic that I couldn't breathe through my left nostril. I looked down at my shirt, covered in blood, it was ruined.

Y/N returned with a frozen bag of peas, a washcloth, Percocet, and tampons.

I picked up the small pink box and raised and eyebrow at her.

She rolled her eyes and picked up the washcloth, dabbing my face clean,"oh don't start with the macho shit, they're great for nosebleeds." She didn't give me time to respond, she passed me four pills and I swallowed them dry. 

She gently tipped my chin up to look up my nose, "Alright now here's the hard part, can you breathe out of both nostrils?"

I swallowed blood and was afraid to respond,"The left one's blocked..." I sat up and closed my eyes,"just do it fast."

She nodded,"okay deep breath for me," she said as she took her own deep breath.

I inhaled as deeply as I could and felt her thumbs framing my nose. She kissed my forehead and then snapped my nose straight on the first try. 

I screamed as I felt my left nostril clear up and more blood come from my nose. She quickly mopped up the mess and tilted my chin up again.

I couldn't see what she was doing but I know she opened the tampon box. After a few tears and pops from the plastic, she gingerly shoved two tampons up my nose. Then handed my the frozen peas to rest on my face.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy, you scared me." She said quietly, looking down at her hands 

I took the peas off my face, and forced her to meet my eyes.

"It was an accident," I said as she tilted my chin back up, "you did a great job fixing my nose though, thank you."

She knelt in between my legs on the floor and took my face in her hands again, studying it. "Still pretty as can be," she said, making me smile.

"C'mon," she started as she stood up," you can't be comfortable down there," she said with a smile and an outstretched hand.

I took her hand as she led me to the bed, fluffing pillows and making sure I was comfortable.

I watched her as she passed me my laptop and curled up into my side.

"You need anything let me know," she said sleepily as she popped two pills. 

I stared at her in disbelief before she rolled her eyes,"this movie is supposed to be great when you're a little high, can't let you have all the fun," she said, reaching up to gently kiss my temple.

I laughed as I pulled her closer. I started the movie, Avatar, and we settled in. Today was going to be a productive day, I thought with a smile.

•••

**Castiel**

 

I stayed cuddled underneath Dean's arm as I struggled to find the words to tell him what was going on. I looked up at him, he was still sleeping.

The anxiety from figuring out how to tell him was driving me mad. I decided to wake him up.

"Dean," I said forcefully enough to wake him on the first try. He jerked awake, I could feel his heart pounding from the adrenaline through his chest.

He looked around in panic, so I put my hands on the sides of his face and forced him to look into my eyes. After his breathing slowed, he grinned at me and then lifted the covers, no doubt looking at my member.

I rolled my eyes, kissing him on the mouth. "I need to speak with you."

"You about gave me a heart attack Cas, can I get a minute to wake up?" He said hoarsely, furrowing his brows.

I narrowed my eyes, "No, Dean I need to tell you now." I demanded," we fell asleep after you said we would talk but we ended up in coitus again."

Dean scrunched up his face in disgust, "God Cas, coitus sounds dirty," his pupils began to dilate and his penis grew hard, he licked his lips,"actually, coitus don't sound like a bad idea." He said grinning. 

I felt my wings ruffle.

He was very pretty. I was used to it now but it was sometimes disarming.

I took a deep breath. "Dean, I need you to remain calm. We've been involved how long now?" I asked seriously.

"Uh, I don't know," Dean rubbed the back of his neck," this caused a fight last time you asked...so I'm going to go by marriage and say we've been married about a year and a half."

I struggled with phrasing in my mind.

Dean looked at me urgently, taking my hands,"Cas, just tell me, quit overthinking it. What's wrong?"

"Dean," I began, "our marriage is technically an inter-species relationship."

Dean snorted. "Cas, we're not that different. Some people marry their dogs. You're not a dog, Cas." Dean stated matter of factly.

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. "Dean, I know that. I was summoned up to heaven two months ago because our marriage is technically invalid for that reason." Dean's face dropped, but I continued, "Angels are...paired with one another at birth to make sure our only worry was following the word of God. Hannah was my mate." I finished.

Dean looked hurt. His brows were furrowed again, but in pain, "Like..an arranged marriage?"

"Yes, Dean, now that everything is returning back to normalcy, the Angels have begun to return to the old ways as well. Hannah demanded that we be married, and now it's a mess...I could lose my wings and I would be an enemy of heaven again, making you a target." I fell back onto the mattress and rubbed my eyes.

Dean was quiet for a while before he spoke again. I feared that his feelings had been hurt.

"I told you she was a fuckin' tramp." He said smugly.

I looked at him incredulously for a moment, not sure how to respond. I snorted, Hannah was indeed a "fuckin' tramp".

It wasn't long before Dean began laughing with me.

Once we were both composed, he placed a hand on my hip and said, "I don't know why you were freaking out about telling me, man. So how do we fixed this?"

This was the moment that Dean Winchester would "lose his shit."

I played with the fraying end of our quilt, unable to meet his eyes,"You need to remain calm when I tell you this," I took a deep breath," we need to have a baby."

•••


	13. Chapter 13

**Dean**  

 

I was staring at Cas, mouth open. 

"Come again?" I said after the shock wore off.

Cas looked at his hands. "A baby. Well technically a nephilim. Half human, half angel." He squinted at me. "What are you thinking?"

I stared at him. "Cas...I don't think we have the equipment for that, man." 

His face turned red and I recognized the look. His wings were ruffling up and he was getting defensive. I pissed him off.

He sat up and looked like he was going to smite me.

"I'm grateful you're sense of humor remains intact." He said coldly before standing up. 

I was caught off guard by the amount of passion and sarcasm in his voice. He was really sensitive about this.

He started tugging on a pair of my jeans and grabbed the AC/DC shirt from the bed.

I sat up. "Hey, I didn't mean to sound like a dick." I reached for him, meeting his eyes. "Please sit and explain it to me. I'm listening, sweetheart."

He let me pull him into my lap.

He played with my fingers, not looking into my eyes. "A Nephilim is born from an egg like an angel. It's hard to explain...my grace is needed for conception and it's created from a true place of love." He finally met my eyes. "And no, Dean, my host can't carry the child. I'm unsure of how it works. I was born but I'm unsure of how it happened other than hatching."

I was confused. "So wait, you're tellin' me that you hatched? Like a chicken? But Novak is just your vessel."

He rolled his eyes, "My true form, Dean."

"So what will it look like?" I asked.

"Well, she or he will have the body of a human. That's all I know...there are none that are known to exist."

I looked over his face carefully. He looked weird. Almost dreamy. I loved him, but it had never occurred to me that he wanted kids with me. I mean, I was a piece of work. It wasn't in the cards right now. How the hell was I going to be a dad?

_Dad_.

_I'm going to be a dad with Cas._

Those words made me panic...but in a good way.

I took a breath and spoke calmly, "We can't just bring him or her into the world for the wrong reasons. I'm a hunter. Are you sure you want a kid with me?" We'd never talked about this.

Cas was staring intently. "I couldn't imagine anything better than creating life with you. I thought I was privileged to have you romantically. To have a child with you..." He stared off dreamily again.

Goddammit I was going to cry.

"Our bond really is profound or whatever, huh?" I said, leaning my head into the crook in his neck. I was looking at his hands, playing with them. I would start bawling like a damn baby if he looked at me with those baby blues right now.

He took the queue and leaned his head on mine, no doubt staring at my hands.

He began to trace the scars on my knuckles before speaking again.

"Is that a yes, Dean?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah...I guess it is..." I said just as quiet.

We sat in silence for a while.

I needed to see his eyes. I cupped his face in my hands and made him look at me.

"I love you, Cas." I said for what seemed like the first time again.

He smiled, eyes crinkling at the sides. "I love you too, Dean."

I pulled his face in for a smooch and then rolled him into bed with me so that his head was laying on my chest.

I felt excitement as I smiled at the ceiling.

"Cas?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes, Dean?"

"Would our baby get some kick ass wings like yours or Angel from x-men?"

•••

  **Y/N  
**

I was starting to feel like my old self. It had been three months since Dean had found me in that motel. I had put on some good weight and I didn't feel like a weakling anymore. 

Cas was almost finished putting me psyche back together and the flashbacks and panic attacks were happening less and less frequently. More importantly, I was starting to get itchy.

It killed me to have to stay home while Sam and Dean got to go gank some baddies, but Sam wouldn't budge, saying it was too dangerous. 

I pulled on some ripped jeans and chucks and one of Cas' t shirts. I threaded my fingers through my curls and worked until I ended up with a braid down my back. I wrapped it into a bun and decided to join to boys in the basement.

This week, I wasn't taking no for an answer.

Sam and Dean were downstairs, sparring. They had tricked out the basement and turned it into a gym for hunters. 

While the guys were gone, I practiced my aim with handguns and targets. Today I wanted to get some hand to hand combat in.

The boys were sparring in the middle of the floor, on some mats. They were both drenched in sweat and panting.

 Sam lunged at Dean. Sam was the slower of the two, so Dean was able to throw up his forearm to block the blow.  He used Sam's momentum to pull his wrist foreword and moved to knee Sam in the stomach. 

Realizing his mistake, Sam twisted his wrist, freeing it, shoved Dean back and let his fist fly towards Dean's face. 

His fist connected with Dean's jaw. "You hit like a bitch," the older brother taunted.

Sam lunged at Dean again only this time Dean used his speed to avoid each blow.

They danced for a while until Sam noticed me watching and got distracted. Without warning, he caught Dean's fist and let it fall, walking over to me.

He smiled down at me and kissed my cheek. "Hey, what's up? D'ya need something?" He said breathlessly.

I looked up at him and squared my shoulders. "I wanted to train with you guys today."

He looked confused but patient as ever. "Alright well you know where the guns are, babe." He said dismissively.

I rolled my eyes. "No, Sam, I'm sparring with you guys. My hand to hand is getting rusty."

"You sure you're up for it? I mean, you're still recovering." He was still dismissing me.

Dean eyes shot up at his brother and he shook his head. He knew there was going to be a fight.

I felt my eyes narrow. "I'm fine. I just want to get back into the game."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Well I think I'd be more comfortable if you took it easy for a little while longer."

Dean shook his head and walked over to where Cas was sitting on the floor.

_Who the fuck did he think he was._

My temper was rising. "Well I don't really think it matters what your comfortable with. I'm not a housewife, I'm a hunter dammit." I said indignantly. 

He threw his hands up in a defensive gesture. "Look, I'm just trying to look out for you," he began to walk away, "besides, Dean and I are pretty seasoned. It wouldn't be fair." He was looking down at me genuinely and this chauvinistic bullshit was starting to really piss me off.

I squared my shoulders and stuck my chin out. "Come on Winchester," I called after him, "scared of a girl that's LITERALLY foot shorter than you and LITERALLY one hundred pounds?"

Sam turned to meet my gaze. Amusement flickered across his face as he walked back to stand in front of me.

Dean rolled his eyes and rummaged through the first aid kit. "Leave that mysoginistic bullshit at the door, man," he paused to throw me some tape. "I know you don't mean it like that, but you're offending her by being over protective. She's gotta start sometime." He shifted his gaze to wink at me. "Hope you're not all talk, let's see what you got, Wood."

I finished taping my wrists and knuckles. I turned to Sam and squared up.

He followed suit.

"Now if I hurt you, don't hesitate to back down." He stated dangerously.

Dean was sitting on the floor, in between Cas' legs on the sidelines, drinking water and watching us.

I looked at Sam and kissed at him, his face was a hard mask. 

He suddenly closed the gap between us and lunged at me. His long legs were giving him momentum. His fist flew toward me. I was able to easily catch his fist in my hand but the force sent me moving backward, the sound of my planted sneakers scraping filled the air. 

I scrambled back and used the momentum to flip into a back handspring. I smiled triumphantly because the younger Winchester looked caught off guard.

I normally didn't show off during a fight  but Sam Winchester had it coming.

Sam decided to go on the defensive as I ran at him full speed, faking him out and twisting out of his fingers.

"Shit, you're quick." He huffed out. He began to come at me harder.

I wasn't even winded yet. I had a hunter's high.

I was floating on my toes, moving just out of his grip every time he tried to grab me. I sent a jab straight into his sternum, knocking his air out. He stumbled back and I kept coming. I kicked the side of his knee, buckling it, and he crumpled to the ground, on his knees. I grabbed his arm and twisted it around, placing my knife to his neck.

I won. 

Everyone in the room froze and the only thing breaking the silence was the sound of our labored breathing.

I removed my knife from his neck and replaced it with a kiss. 

Sam got up and rubbed the outside of his knee where I kicked.

Dean whooped and cheered on the sidelines. "Damn, Sammy, your girlfriend is a badass!" He exclaimed.

"Don't underestimate me, Winchester. I'm a lot stronger than I look and I've had to compensate for my size." I said quietly to him.

His eyes grew dark. "I will literally never make that mistake again." He looked at me hungrily. "You can come on the next hunt with us." 

I did a little victory dance and he pulled me into his chest. 

"That...was incredibly hot. Good job babe." He whispered in my ear. I felt blood rush to my face.

Before I could respond, Dean made a disgusted noise. "Get a room, guys, come on." He said with mock annoyance. Cas smacked his arm.

Sam returned his gaze to me and licked his lips "You up for a break?" He asked suggestively.

I felt like I was on top of the world. I whispered naughty things into his ear before he led me out of the basement into his room, locking the door.

•••


	14. Chapter 14

  
**Dean**

I pumped into Cas from behind and threaded my fingers into his messy dark hair.

I used my free hand to dig into his hip, no doubt leaving bruises.

Cas hissed and tensed up. I slowed to a stop before detangling my hand from his hair. I cupped his cheek, making him look back at me.

"You okay, sweetheart?" My voice was thick with lust.

"I'm not injured, Dean, your finger were pressing into the insignia." He said, turning into my hand and kissing it. I began rutting into him again.

We had spent six weeks with Sam and Y/N looking up ways to make a nephilim. Every time we tried, we failed, nothing happened. Sam said we should be able to tell.

Don't get me wrong, the sex was fantastic but Cas was starting to get discouraged.

We were at the end of our ropes until Sam found something about carving some crazy looking insignia into both our bodies. I took mine like a bitch compared to Cas, it was going to create a nasty scar, but he was ready for this to work. We were both ready for this to work, but he needed me to be strong right now. I loved him, so I stayed positive.

"Dean, move," Cas whined, bringing me back to the task at hand.

"I got you," I growled, holding back my orgasm until Cas got there.

I flipped him onto his back and stared into his baby blues.

His eyes were glassy and his cheeks were flushed. We were both slicked with sweat. He noticed me staring and his face lit up a little. I felt everything fade away and focused purely on him and his pleasure.

After all, he was going to be the father of my kid.

I picked up a slow pace as I kissed him on the mouth, letting my tongue slide over his. I let my hands roam over his arms, chest, stomach, and thighs.

A deep hum came from the back of his throat, he was damn near purring.

I sped up, letting the pressure build.

Cas' eyes rolled into the back of his head and I felt him struggling to keep his grace going to his sweet spots. He was too turned on.

Damn right he is.

"It's okay sweetheart, I got you, don't worry about the sweet spots." I panted, using my teeth to scrape his nipple.

I felt so in tune with Cas. Even though I couldn't see them, I could feel his wings ruffling and getting bigger the closer he got to coming.

I kissed against his neck and felt the vibrations of his humming. His skin was salty from sweat. He began panting. "Dean I can't...I'm going to..." He bit his lip and closed his eyes.

I was so close. "Baby, look at me," I commanded.

He opened his eyes and stared into mine as I rutted faster and faster. My lower abs and back were aching from me and Cas gettin' nasty in the sack too many times over the past couple weeks.

I stared into those baby blues and sent him over the edge with one word:

"Come."

His eyes glowed bright blue and he began writhing and yelling as I felt his come hit my chest. I used one hand to milk him through it and the other to hold him steady while I finished myself off inside him.

I came with a strangled grunt, dizzy from the exertion and completion. I collapsed onto Cas and tried to steady my breathing. I was getting too old for this.

He readjusted himself before using his hands to rub my back and hair. He kissed my shoulders and showered me with smutty praise.

I felt like my body weighed a ton but I knew I was crushing Cas. I pushed myself up and rolled off of him. We were laying on our backs, looking at the ceiling, barely touching.

The bliss was short lived as our breathing slowed and we realized nothing happened. Every second that nothing happened was painful because it was another disappointment to Cas.

I looked over to him staring at the ceiling. I nudged his hand with my fingers. He didn't respond.

I rubbed a hand on my neck. "Hey, we don't know it didn't work. Give it some time," I said optimistically.

Cas opened his mouth to say something, decided against it, and then rolled away from me.

"I wish to be alone Dean. I'm unsure of how to process what I am feeling." He said, his voice uncharacteristically small. I was failing at being strong for both of us.

I wanted to make him feel better now, but we had an agreement in our relationship: Space will always be respected.

I needed to step away to clear my head.

I leaned over to plant a kiss on top of his head. "Okay, sweetheart, I'm gonna...I'm gonna grab a beer, I'll be back tonight."

I got up, pulling on my jeans and boots.

•••

It was three am, I knew I smelled like a bar, and Cas was going to kill me.

I slid silently into bed next to Cas, he was meditating, it was the closest he came to sleeping.

I carefully draped an arm over him. I was just starting to fall asleep when Cas started screaming. I sat straight up to look over to him and I was blinded by a bright blue light.

I was flung from the bed. I hit the wall hard and crumpled to the floor, losing consciousness.

•••


	15. Chapter 15

**Morgan**

_Toilet paper? Check._  
_Tonic water? Check._  
_Gin? Check._

I'd found almost everything on my list in this dirty QuickMart except for more blood for Andrew. He had an 'intolerance' to the B+ I had picked up last week. It was just us two and it was late.

It'd been over four months since she and I had ended our relationship. I felt okay.

I walked over to the meat aisle where I knew I'd find him chatting up the brawny butcher.

Andrew was speaking happily with him. The butcher threw his head back in laughter at something Andrew had said. Andrew's face lit up once he saw me waiting and he walked over, running a hand through his hair and flashing a smile at me.

I found myself smiling back slightly.

His smile turned sour when he spotted the gin. This was almost always a fight between the two of us.

His frowned at me disapprovingly. "I thought you were trying to take it easy." He said lightly.

All of a sudden I felt defensive. "I haven't had a drink in over a week." I felt my eyes narrow at him.

He smiled casually and pecked me on the cheek. "No matter," he said, slipping a hand around my waist, "I don't want to fight, do as you wish, darling."

I grunted and kissed him back. I grabbed his hand, leading him to the checkout lines, I was ready to get home.

I walked quickly, leading the way and ran straight into a wall. I fell backwards dropping most of my items. Andrew released my hand, using his quick reflexes to fumble with and catch the bottle of gin before it shattered to the floor.

I looked up irritably and came face to face with the largest hunter I had ever seen. His smell was very faint. Andrew didn't seem to notice, he was practically drooling over him.

His hazel eyes bore into me. "Oh wow, I'm so sorry," he said hand outstretched to help me up. He obviously didn't notice what we were either.

It was best not to arouse suspicion as we were just passing through this dinky town in Kansas.

I took his hand and smiled, grunting my thanks. He smelled familiar, but I couldn't place it.

His hair was shoulder length and brown, it was mussed. His eyes were glassy and he was flushed as if he'd been running. His flannel shirt was buttoned the wrong way and he held a pack of Magnum condoms. He looked like trailer trash and was obviously ill prepared for the shagging he stopped in the middle of.

I was confused as to why he smelled familiar. It was starting to bother me.

"Sorry about that, I was distracted." he smiled casually.

"It's fine," I started, "You seem familiar, have we met-"

I was interrupted as Andrew stepped closer to him. "Oh it's no trouble at all, darling." Andrew was all but purring. I rolled my eyes.  
  
The tall man chuckled and flipped the box in his hands nervously.

He was Andrew's type. "So, what's your name, gorgeous?" He flashed a brilliant smile as the man turned around and raised his eyebrows, amused.

"Sam," he said warmly. He held a hand out to shake Andrew's.

Andrew returned the gesture, biting his lip. "My, aren't you delicious looking." He said, winking.

Sam met my eyes briefly as if to ask if I was with him. Not wanting to offend me.

I rolled my eyes playfully and I saw him relax.

"My girl would get pretty mad if she knew I was getting hit on." He said laughing.

Andrew groaned dramatically,"ah, the pretty ones are always straight, no matter love."

Sam smiled apologetically before his phone began ringing.

He answered it, "hey babe, I'm about to check out...no..." He grew quiet, " yes, Y/N, I got them. They'll fit." He chuckled, blushing.

I wasn't sure if I had heard that right. My heart began beating hard in ears.

"Okay babe...yeah...ill see you at home...mhm...bye." He shut his phone and passed the condoms and money to the woman behind the register. She sent him a flirty smile and wrote her number on the back of his receipt.

I couldn't move. He was fucking her. That's why he smelled familiar. She was close. I still had a chance. I could make this right.

"Thank you," he said to the cashier hurriedly. He turned to face us and smiled. "You guys have a good one." He winked at Andrew, tossing the receipt in the trash before leaving.

"Andrew," I said distracted as I started to follow Sam out. "Pay for this." I shoved the items into his hands. I watched Sam climb on his bike and start it. I hurried to memorize the license plate.

I wrote it down on the palm of my hand and turned to rejoin Andrew in the QuickMart. I felt like I couldn't breathe.  
•••

**Y/N**

I laid in Sam's bed smoking a joint while I researched in my underwear on his laptop.

Sam wouldn't be back from the QuickMart for another fifteen minutes and I was pretty blissed out.

Sam had his flaws but he was kind and patient, especially with sex.

 ***begin memory***  
_Sam and I had just gotten back from a werewolf case. Turns out there were three wolves. We were worn out and tired._

_We weren't speaking as we sat in the kitchen and I cleaned the gash on his chest, near his tattoo. I was pissed._

_The werewolf had thrown me through the windshield of a car and the fucker had jumped in after me. My shoulder was dislocated and I was trapped in the backseat, the werewolf on top of me._

_I held the beast by the throat as I felt him snap wildly at my face. His breath was horrible and he began drooling on me, I knew this was the end. We were exhausted from ganking the other two and had almost no fight left in us._

_Suddenly I felt the werewolf as it stopped struggling. I looked up to find Sam dragging the werewolf by the fur on its back. I quickly got out of the car as it turned on him, scratching Sam down his chest and holding him down by the neck._

_I sprinted over to Sam in a panic. Knowing I couldn't make it in time, I hurled my dagger into the werewolf's face. It sat back and howled trying to dislodge the knife from its eye socket._

_Sam sat up and fired a single shot into its heart, killing it instantly. He got up and jogged over to me. I was breathing heavily because of my shoulder._

_He placed a big hand on top of my shoulder gently, the other wrapping around my forearm._

_He looked at me seriously, "on three, okay?"_

_"No, babe, just do it," I breathed._

_He bent down to kiss my forehead before snapping my arm back into place on the first try._

_Now we sat silently in the kitchen and as I was stitching it up, I got distracted by his muscular chest. He didn't have his shirt on and he was playing with the ends of my hair while I finished up._

_I swatted his hand away. "Quit." I said firmly._

_He frowned at me and rolled his eyes. "It wasn't a big deal, Y/N. I knew what I was doing." He moved to touch me again but paused and let his hand fall._

_"Look, I know you don't think it was a big deal, but you can't just swoop in and risk your life for mine," I felt myself tear up, "I thought I was going to watch you die."_

_"But I wasn't going to die, babe, I knew you had it when I watched you throw that dagger like a badass." He smiled at me triumphantly._

_"That's not the point," I yelled turning away from him, "That was sheer dumb fucking luck that the dagger hit its mark." I realized that my emotion was mostly from the fight. I was shaking because of the hunter's high._

_I felt him get up behind me. "I'm sorry. Can I touch you?" He asked quietly._

_I turned around to see his outstretched arms. I went into them and let him hold me._  
_I breathed in his scent and realized he was hard._

_He pulled away from me, blushing, even though his eyes looked predatory. "Sorry, hunters high," he started," we should head to bed." He said rubbing circles into my back._

_I looked up at him and covered his bulge with my hand. His eyes close as he groaned._

_"Are you sure?" He looked like he was going to die from lust._

_"Yes," I whispered, "I want you and only you."_

_My consent was all he needed as he grabbed the back of my thighs and picked me up, placing me on the counter. I wrapped my arms around his neck and melted into him._

_He showered me with kisses and quiet praise. He kissed my forehead, cheeks and lips._

_He tangled a hand into my hair, tugging lightly to expose my throat._

_He pulled away from my mouth one more time,"not here, let's go to my room." He said breathily._

_I snapped out of my haze, "No, shower, we're gross."_

_He nodded and carried me to the bathroom, kicking the door closed behind him. I was running my hands through his hair and kissing his jaw until he put me down on the floor carefully._

_I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. What if I wasn't ready? Did I even know my sexual identity anymore? I realized I was panicking because this was my first sexual experience since the incident. I needed this._

_Sam broke me from my trance. "If we do this its going to be on your terms." He stood in front of me,"what do you want?" He asked gently._

_I was so nervous that I struggled to articulate what I wanted._

_"I want you," I said, my voice shy. This was uncharacteristic for me. I felt self conscious._

_He stood still, gazing into my eyes, waiting. He spoke gently, "you have me and I want you to enjoy me."_

_I unbuckled his belt but his hands remained at his sides; he remained still._

_I pushed his jeans down and he stepped out of them. He stood patiently in his black boxers, waiting for my next move._

_He was beautiful._

_"I don't move unless you tell me to," Sam said hoarsely._

_He looked at me hungrily and I felt something come alive inside of me._

_"Go get the shower started." I said, my voice sounded bigger._

_He grinned and moved to turn on the shower. He pulled his boxers off unceremoniously and stepped in._

_I took this time by myself to prepare. I peeled off my clothes and stood to stare at my naked body in the mirror. There was a purple bruise forming underneath my right eye and the scars were fading. I took a few deep breaths calming my-_

_"Water's warm babe," Sam said popping his head out behind the shower curtain. There was water dripping from his chin as he grinned at me goofily. He paused, taking in my naked body and my nerves melted away._

_Once in the shower, I stood motionless under the spray, letting the warm water relax my muscles. Sam gently placed two fingers on my back, letting me know he was going to touch me. He began silently massaging my shoulders. It was tender and intimate. He was always taking care of me in small ways._

_He moved to rub shampoo into my scalp. I hummed contentedly, turning around to rub his organic coconut soap into his body into his loofah and began washing his chest and stomach, working up a lather._

_Our bodies were slick with soap as we slid together, enjoying one another and worshipping each other._  
***end memory***

I realized I had turned myself on again. I ashed the joint and pulled on some of Sam's boxers. I was about to pad off to the bathroom until I heard Cas scream.  
•••


	16. Chapter 16

**Y/N**

I ran as fast as I could toward the sound of screaming, unsheathing my knife from my thigh holster.

Cas' screaming got louder as I rounded the corner to their room.

When I reached their door, blue light was streaming out from underneath it. I opened the door quickly, my muscles were coiled and ready for a fight.

What I found was Dean passed out on the other side of the room and Cas was screaming, his grace out of control; causing items to get thrown around and furniture shake. The lights flickered on and off. We had read about this.

I sheathed my knife, not knowing where to begin.

He was sitting straight up in bed, eyes glowing, with tears streaming down his face. He was in pain.

I ran over to Dean, and put my ear to his chest. Relief washed over me as I heard him breathing.

I straightened him out on the floor to lay on his back, making sure his neck wasn't injured and ran back to Cas.

"Cas," I screamed, "CAS!" I didn't know what else to do. I wasn't sure if I should touch him.

The desk flipped loudly behind me and one of the ceiling lamps blew.

I reached to touch him. I was grabbed by the forearm as Sam yanked me back. He looked distressed.

"Don't touch him!" He yelled over Cas' screaming, "he needs to pass out!"

I nodded, still not understanding but I wasn't about to argue. I ran to hold the door open as Sam dragged Dean out into the hallway. Once we were out, I shut the door behind us.

Sam looked down at me as I put Deans head in my lap. We could still hear Cas screaming in pain.

•••

  
Two hours later and Cas was still screaming and Dean finally came to. 

He immediately scrambled to his feet, wincing in pain and grabbing his leg. His eyes looked for Cas as he moved towards the sound of screaming. Sam had to stop him from opening the door.

Dean struggled against him, enraged. His nostrils flared. "Get out of my way." He warned dangerously.

Sam shoved him away from the door, standing upright so that he was towering over Dean and met his eyes. "We can't touch him, he has to go through this, once it starts there's no stopping it." he ran a hand through his hair.

"He needs me." Dean yelled. He looked at Sam lethally, his eyes darkening. "I don't want to hurt you, Sammy, but you need to move, and I'm not afraid to make you."

Dean looked like he was going to kill Sam. I needed to cut in.

I moved in between them, my back to Sam. I held Dean by his shirt front and forced him to meet my eyes, grounding him.

I saw his shoulders relax.

"Sam," I said, my eyes not leaving Dean's, "let him know what's happening."

It was killing us not being able to help him.

Sam seemed equally affected. "If what we read is true, then part of his grace is manifesting."

Dean winced as Cas screamed out his name, his eyes were filling with tears. "I gotta help him, Sammy, what do we do?"

Sam looked at him evenly, "we can't do anything, Dean. This has to happen if you guys want the ritual to work...you guys will have a kid after this." Sam was interrupted as Cas started sobbing loudly. "We just can't disturb him while he's in this state, it'll hurt him."

Cas yelled out again and Dean hit the wall next to the door, cursing.

Most of it was guttural screaming. Sometimes he would sob out Dean's name, begging him to end it.

As time passed it was getting harder and harder to keep Dean away from Cas. He was pacing and circling Sam predatorily, hoping he would leave his post in front of the door.

I spoke to him calmly, soothing him, keeping him from ripping Sam's head off.

Suddenly, it was quiet.

Dean shoved past Sam to fling his bedroom door open but shock froze him in his tracks.

Cas was curled in on himself, breathing heavily and facing the wall. The blue light was gone and everything was still. The fluorescent lights were still sparking from being blown. There were books and papers scattered around the room. It looked like a tornado had come through here.

I didn't know what the hell was wrong with Dean but I looked to Sam and waited for his say so to run over to Cas.

He tensed up when he felt the bed dip.

"It's me, sweetie," I said softly, "what do you need?"

Cas craned his neck to look at me. His eyes were bloodshot and he was crying blood. "Dean," he said hoarsely before dropping his head again.

He was struggling to stay awake. I curled around him, smoothing his hair down and rubbing his back. He was shaking and still curled in a tight ball.

I looked over to Dean, amazed that he was still standing in the door way.  
•••

  
**Dean**

I wasn't sure how hard I got hit in the head...but I was definitely hallucinating.

I could see his wings.

They were way bigger than I thought they would be. I was in awe at how beautiful they were, I mean, after the initial shock.

The color is what really got me. I always imagined angels to have white, fluffy wings. I'd only seen the outline of his wings before Cas' were like a glossy jet black, like Baby. They looked badass.

"Dean?" Y/N asked, breaking me from my trance.

"Hm? What?" I was still pretty out of it. I couldn't tell them, it was probably just a concussion.

She looked at me carefully, "I said you should let Sam take care of your leg before you come take my place with Castiel."

I wasn't one hundred percent about leaving Cas but I felt my shoulders relax. Her eyes didn't leave mine until I nodded at her. I reluctantly turned and limped out of the room with Sam.

•••


	17. Chapter 17

**Dean**

I reached for the bandaged insignia on my hip as Sam set my ankle. It felt like it was burning and I resisted the temptation to mess with it. 

It was nothing compared to what Cas just went through. 

I could still hear him screaming for me.

I cleared the lump in my throat and Sam looked up at me. 

"You good?" He asked.

I rubbed the back of my neck. "I will be once I get to Cas."

I know he saw the freaked out look on my face when I saw Cas' wings. It was either a concussion or a side effect of fucking while we both wore the insignia. 

I knew he would bug me about it later, but for now he fixed me up.

"Did you guys...see anything?" I asked, wondering when of if I would see my kid.

He looked puzzled and then met my eyes, realizing what I meant. "I'm not sure," he answered honestly, "I wasn't really looking. Cas was curled in facing the wall...you should ask him once he's awake."

I nodded, not really satisfied with that response.

He stood up then, brushing off his jeans. "Well looks like you're all good, send Y/N over my way and let us know when you guys are okay with visitors," he smiled and clapped my shoulder, "keep us updated."

I nodded at him, limping out of the kitchen and heading toward my bedroom.  
•••

I took a deep breath and stepped inside my doorway. I felt my shoulders relax once I saw Cas in the same position I'd left him in, wings curled even tighter around his body.

Y/N had cleaned up most of the papers on books on the floor. She even swept up all the glass and was now struggling to flip my desk back over.

I smiled at her warmly, "Thing's solid oak, sweetheart," she jumped, relaxing once she saw it was me.

I walked over to her, helping her with the desk. The son of a bitch was heavy.

She bent down to put my mom's picture back on my desk. "I wasn't able to get everything up but I didn't want you to have to worry about cleaning up right now." She smiled knowingly.

"Why?" I asked suddenly, I could feel my heart beating in my ears. "What did he say to you? Did it work?" I was hyperaware of the feeling of panic creeping under my skin.

She winked at me. "Go talk to your husband."

"Thank you for this," I started genuinely. "Seriously-"

She held her hand up and waved me off. She wasn't good with heavy emotions so she held her arms out. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her in for a hug, resting my chin on her head. 

"He's going to be okay," she said into my chest,"he just really wants to see you...mazel tov by the way." She said winking. She stood up on her tip toes to grab my face and kiss my forehead. She sauntered out of the room and I shook my head after her, smiling.

_Sammy better lock that one down._

I approached the bed nervously. I remembered getting knocked out by one of his massive wings...

I was awestruck, admiring Cas in a new light. He was a gorgeous creature. 

He suddenly turned his head, his eyes were red. 

"Hello, Dean." He said raspily. "You can see them? Correct?"

I nodded at him. "Are you okay? Can I get you anything?" I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling powerless.

He searched my face,"I'm alright, Dean, I apologize if I scared you."

I sat on the edge of the bed, looking at his wings. "Can I touch them?" I asked quietly.

Cas flashed a weak smile at me. "Of course, Dean." He sat up slowly, wincing. His black wings were still curled around his body. He slowly stretched one wing out in front of him experimentally. He combed his finger through his feathers and then laid it across my lap.

I gently ran my hand over his smooth feathers. His wings were soft, I just needed to get used to them. He hummed contentedly. 

I was distracted, petting him rhythmically, when he cleared his throat.

"Dean," he said gruffly, waiting for me to meet his eyes. "It worked." He was grinning.

I furrowed my brows, not processing what he just said.

He stretched out the other wing, revealing a giant glowing egg resting in the middle of his folded legs.


	18. Chapter 18

**Morgan**

_****begin memory****  
I grunted as I tore through her door, kicking at the fragmented wood madly. I was an idiot to think that my cunning little dove didnt need supervision because of how well we were connecting. _

_Our relationship was built on trust._

_I broke through the door, enraged. But when I saw her sitting next to the nightstand, rubbing her nose and sniffling, I stopped in my tracks. Our eyes met and I recognized that glassy stare. Her nose was bleeding._

_I studied the contents on the nightstand. My debit card, a rolled up dollar bill, and a single powdery white line. Everything moved in slow motion once realization sank in._

_Her eyes rolled to the back of her head as she collapsed to her side and began convulsing. I choked out a sob and ran to her, holding her steady on her side._

_I began to panic. "ANDREW!" I screeched out. I began brushing her hair out of her face as Andrew burst in; fangs out, ready for a fight._

_His eyes widened when he saw Y/N convulsing._

_"Did she OD?" He whispered, running a hand through his hair. "This is not gonna be pretty. What are we going to do with her body?"_

_I looked at him violently. "We need to take her to a hospital. We need to do something." She was pale._

_Andrew scoffed at me. "You've lost it. Drop her off at the hospital and then what? Hm? Just act like she isn't going to track us down with reinforcements? She's already taken down more than half of us." He protested._

_I met his eyes, shocked. "We can figure something out but we need to take her now." I began sobbing. "I can't lose her."_

_Andrew's face twisted into a snarl. "You can't lose her? Have you lost your bloody mind!? Our coven is barely surviving as it is. You're supposed to be our leader and you're really about to risk our lives for an easy fuck!?" His voice had risen to a shout._

_I flinched at his words and took her in my arms, holding her as the convulsions turned into trembles. Relief washed over me as she began projectile vomitting. I pulled her hair back._

_Andrew was staring at me incredulously. "Is that what it takes to get your attention?" His hands balled into fists at his side. "You know I have loved you unconditionally for more than 10 years," his voice was strained, "I've been here through all of the abuse, all of the breakdowns, I've stood loyally at your side."_

_He paused, eyes filling with tears, "why can't you love me like you love her?" His voice finally broke._

_I bore my fangs. "Leave us," I roared at him. He crossed his arms, his face was flushed with rage._

_"If I walk out this door, Morgan, I'm gone, no more chances." He crossed his arms, waiting for me to tell him what he wanted to hear._

_I said nothing as he sent a lamp flying towards the wall, turning on his heel and exiting the room. I heard his door slam moments later._

_I exhaled sharply as Y/N dry heaved._

_I couldn't be with him. I knew he was in love with me but he was a bright light in my darkness. I couldnt stand by while I took every ounce of goodness he had left._

_When I found out Y/N had been tracking our coven, I saw a darkness in her quite like my own. I looked at her and saw despair. I needed someone who I could be broken with and she was perfect. There was something intoxicating about someone accepting you at_ _your absolute worst._

_Andrew wanted to change me and I didn't know if I'd ever be alright with that._

_Once she finished retching, I took one of my hair ties off my wrist and tied her hair into a messy bun on the top of her head. Curls fell out of place._

_I placed one arm under her shoulders and the other under her knees and carried her out of her dirty room. She drooled on my chest._

_I passed Andrew's room and heard the muffled sound of furniture crashing over his sobbing. He didn't often lose control like this._

_Hopefully I hurt him enough this time. Hopefully he wouldn't come back for more._

_I walked down the corridor and entered my suite, kicking the door shut behind me._

_I tucked her into my bed and watched her chest move up and down. She was still pale, but I was relieved that she was alive. She shouldn't have been, for how much she took, but she was._

_She would need to be monitored over the next few hours for she wasn't in the clear yet._

_I would be lying if I said my cock didn't twitch at the idea of nursing her back to health. We were just going through a rough patch. I've had a bit of trouble with mental illness in my time. She  
didn't know what she needed. _

_She needed me now more then ever.  
 ****end memory****_

I sat in the back of the dingy dive bar, sipping my triple gin and tonic. I wore a baseball cap and sat low in my seat. I watched people move around in the bar around me, smiling at me as they passed. The Midwestern charm made me want to gag.

I watched her in her element, playing billiards with Sam the hunter. I rolled my eyes. The poor man still looked like a hick sporting that flannel.

She bent over the billiard table to line up her shot and I felt my jaw hit the floor. The dark ripped jeans she wore accented the curve of her hips.

She had gained a little weight but it looked good on her. 

She wore a white crop top and an oversized denim button up. It was unbuttoned and revealed her creamy brown skin. Her hair was in a messy bun, on top of her head. Her makeup was also lovely. She sported dark red lips and black cat eyes. A few curls were falling out of place, framing her perfect face. She looked like an angel.

Sam smacked her rump appreciatively and her eyes widened as she missed the shot. She stood up and smacked his arm, grinning up at him.

I felt my fingers tighten around my glass. I would punish her for making me jealous, but for now, I waited.  
•••


	19. Chapter 19

**Y/N**

_Sam and Dean were hunting a wendingo and I was left home, because of a concussion, so I played battle shots with Cas._

_The game is just like BattleShip, only you take a shot if the other person hits your ships. We were almost through our first game. I was hammered, while Cas was tipsy. He was way too good at this game._

_"G7," Cas said triumphantly, "I believe I just sunk your battle ship."_

_I grinned at him and drunkenly saluted him."Down the hatch," I said, pouring the shot of whiskey down my throat. I winked at him._

_Cas grinned and the corners of his eyes crinkled. He looked over to the egg sitting snuggled in a blanket and smiled._

_Ever since the Winchester fetus had shown up, Cas and Dean glowed. They were nauseatingly in love. Dean would carry the egg around with him, singing classic rock songs to it while he cooked or did laundry. Cas didn't understand it but he would look at Dean dreamily whenever he did it._

_"Fuck," Cas cursed._

_That immediately snapped me out of my staring. He never cursed._

_He covered his mouth with his hand in an 'oops' gesture. "I shouldn't be drinking in front of her." He hiccuped._

_I felt myself grin, " how do you know it's gonna be a girl?"_

_He didn't answer right away, "Well," he started,"I honestly don't know but can you imagine how much trouble another Winchester boy would get into?" He walked towards little Winchester on the couch and sat down._

_He said it so seriously that I couldn't help but laugh. I sat next to him and put little Winchester on my lap, looking at it carefully. "So I'm guessing green eyes and black hair." I said enthusiastically._

_Cas looked confused._

_Having an angel for a best friend meant it always took a minute for him to understand._

_"Little Winchester is going to have the body of a human, right?" I waited for Cas to nod,"so that means that he or she will be a mixture of both of your physical features."_

_Cas' eyes grew wide. "I hope she looks like Dean. Green eyes and blonde hair. Or like you." He said smiling._

_I blushed and cocked my head to the side smiling. "What?" I asked laughing._

_He stared at me. "I like the color of your skin and the texture of your hair." He said simply._

_I threw my head back and laughed. "Well I'm not sure that's possible, Cas, unless Dean is secretly black."_

_Cas looked disappointed but smiled at me._

_My phone began ringing loudly. I carefully passed LW to Cas carefully and pulled it out of my pocket, thinking it was Sam._

_The number was from a blocked caller. I picked up on the third ring._

_I cleared my throat and tried to sound sober. "Hello?"_

_"Hello, dove." A voice practically purred._

_I felt my blood turn to ice in my veins._

_"Whatsa matter, darling? Cat got your tongue?"_

_I still couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. I walked to my room quickly and locked the door._

_"That's alright, I'll talk. You listen. I see you've shacked up with that good ole Midwestern boy....does he know how you like to be fucked?"_

_I suddenly found my voice,"We didn't fuck, Morgan. You raped me-"_

_"Your memories must have been tampered with when the angel probed your mind." He interrupted. "You really don't remember do you?" He was breathing gently into the phone._

_I knew he was lying. "Wow. You're delusional." I scoffed._

_He chuckled gently. "Remember the night you overdosed?"_

_I couldn't listen to this anymore. "I'm hanging up and I'm coming after you!" My voice raised to a shout,"Do you hear me you piece of fucking shit?! I'm going to fucking find you and rip your mother fucking head off!"_

_I breathed heavily into the phone waiting for a response to fuel my rage._

_The line was silent. I checked to see if he was still on the line. The silence was deafening._

_I hung up the phone and played with it in my hands. It creeped me the fuck out that my outburst had zero effect on him._

_I began to panic. I had started texting Sam when I got a text from a blocked number._  
   
'Turn around, dove.'

_I spun around wildly, reaching for my knife, when a strong hand wrapped around my throat and slammed me into the door. I screamed. I felt his fingers squeeze tighter around my throat. I still tried yelling and with a swift motion, he crushed my windpipe._

_Morgan smiled cruelly, baring his fangs, "I've missed you, dove."_

**Sam**

Y/N sat up in bed and screamed. 

I immediately woke up, gun in hand, ready to kill.

Her hands flew to her throat, she was sobbing hysterically. I put down my gun and grabbed her shoulders.

"Hey, look at me. Baby, you're okay. Shhh." I said soothingly, petting her hair out of her face.

She shook her head violently. "He's here!" She sobbed.

"Baby, you were dreaming." I wrapped my arms around her. She sobbed into my chest. "You're safe with me." I said into her hair, rocking her until her sobs turned to sniffles. I kissed the top of her head and she pulled away from me, wiping her eyes.

She breathed evenly. "I'm sorry about this," she whispered. "God, I'm a piece of work. This isn't a great selling point on reasons you should be with me. I have a lot of baggage."

I took her hand in mine. "I'm never going to stop trying to help you be okay. I love you, Y/N."

I kissed her forehead. It was the first time those words were said.

She climbed back under the covers with me and curled up into my side.

"And I love you, Sam." She said quietly. She still seemed afraid to fall asleep.

"I'll stay awake until you fall asleep, okay?" I said, rubbing her back.

The motion seemed to relax her.  I rubbed her back until I felt her entire body relax.

I kissed her forehead and drifted off to sleep.

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while since I've updated, but I just went through an intense surgery and I've been sleeping a lot. This is a short chapter, but I'm going to be posting more frequently again. Thank you so much for reading <3

**Y/N**

I sat in the tub and let the cold spray from the shower beat down on my shoulders and neck. I hugged my knees to my chest and sat still. My eyes began drooping so I abruptly turned my face upwards into the spray. I was scared to fall asleep.

It had been two months of nonstop nightmares. 

Everytime my eyes closed, I could feel him. It was the same thing every night. He would find me, he would stalk me, he would torture me and he would kill me.

I ran my hands over my face and reached to turn the water off. I stood up carefully and stepped out of the tub, grabbing a towel. I wrapped it around my hips and closed the lid of the toilet. I sat down and started combing out my wet hair.

The nightmares were so vivid that they were causing a strain between Sam and me. He would never say it out loud, but I knew he was tired of the bullshit.

During a particularly awful nightmare tonight, Morgan took his time killing me. He killed everyone in the bunker, starting with Cas and little Winchester. I was so freaked out that I pissed in Sam's bed. 

He tried to tell me it wasn't a big deal, stripping his clothes and mine and making me go shower. He wouldn't let me help. He just told me everything was okay. I knew that he needed to sleep. I decided that I was going to start using my room.

As I stood up, the door to the bathroom opened and Cas poked his head in, taking in my bare chest and cocking his head to the side as I jerked the towel up to cover myself. I felt my face turn hot.

"Cas! What the fuck?!" I hissed at him. The lack of sleep made me an irritable bitch. 

He was still glowing from the arrival of little Winchester. According to the books we read about the development of nephilim, little Winchester would supposedly be joining us any day now.

His eyes eventually met mine. "My apologies, Y/N," he started,"Dean wishes to speak with you about something, it has to do with Baby."

"Balls," I muttered under my breath. 

Dean let me borrow Baby and ended up scratching her. I buffed it out but I knew Dean would know. 

I nodded at him and he gave me an apologetic smile at me before leaving, closing the door behind him.  
•••

I padded out of Sam's room. I had a towel wrapped around my head and I decided on one of Sam's hoodies from Stanford.

I rounded the corned to the living room, looking for him and came face to face with Dean and Sam sitting on the couch. Cas was sitting on the arm of the couch, holding little Winchester in his lap. They had moved the arm chair to face the couch. It was open.

I narrowed my eyes in confusion. "What's...what's going on guys?" I felt my stomach drop. The bed and Baby were the last straws. They were going to kick me out.

Dean trained his green eyes on me. "Sit down, sweetheart." He gestured to the open chair, "Family meeting."

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Cas**

Y/N sat in the armchair silently, playing with the fraying ends of Sam's sweatshirt. There were large, dark circles under her eyes.

The lack of sleep was detrimental to her recovery. She wouldn't look at either of the boys. Her expression indicated shame and something else. Sam and Dean exchanged a look before Dean began speaking.

He moved his hand from my leg to rest his elbows on his thighs. His hands were clasped. He looked at Y/N with a softened expression before speaking. "How you holdin' up, kid?" He asked.

She looked surprised. "I'm fine." She said and met Sam's eyes. "Look, if this is about the bed, I'm really sorry, I can sleep in my own room-"

"This isn't about the bed," Sam interrupted, running a hand through his hair, "we don't care about that, we care about you." Sam was agitated and Y/N followed suit, narrowing her eyes. 

He continued, "And you aren't sleeping in another room, Y/N-"

"This isn't about the bed." Dean said loudly, gaining control of the conversation once more. Sam sat back on the couch and let Dean mediate. "We found something."

Y/N's eyes met Dean's. She remained silent and let him finish.

Dean sat back and retrieved something from his pants pocket. It was a small bag that he turned over in his hand. He held it out so that Y/N could grab it. 

The lettering on the front meant nothing to me, but her eyes widened.

"A hex bag? Where did you find this? How many are there?" She rushed out.

Dean nodded at Sam, giving him the go ahead.

"This was the only one and I found it under our bed..." He paused, shifting uncomfortably. "But get this, while taking the hex bag apart, one of the herbs really stood out to me," Sam began, "African dream root."

Y/N looked skeptical but listened intently.  
   
Sam continued, speaking with his hands, "Now I know what you're thinking, dream root is normally ingested."

Dean was right. Sam was a "nerd".

"But there is lore that suggests that with the right combination of ingredients, the cocktail would allow someone complete control of their target's subconscious." Sam paused for effect, looking at all of us. "This had to be planted here. We're dealing with a seriously powerful witch...and Morgan. He probably hired her."

Y/N's eye widened. "He was here..."

Dean rested his hand on her knee, putting her at ease.

Dean looked pensive. "Y/N, I know we don't talk about this because we respected your decision to leave it as is, but we need to know everything we can on him before we take down his nest." His eyes never left hers.

She looked down. She didn't respond. Sam reached for her hand and held it. 

Dean spoke softly. "I know that he changed you forever."

Y/N finally met his eyes. She was crying.

Dean continued,"I know this isn't fair and that this shouldn't have happened...but we need to take this sonuva bitch out." Dean's voice was thick. "We need to make sure he can never do this again."

I placed my hand on Dean's back. 

He was going to be a great father.

Dean often spoke to me about his concerns when it came to parenting our child. John Winchester should never have been a father. Dean seems to think that he'll become him.

I finally spoke. "We love you. Sam romantically of course, while Dean and I share a familial bond with you. You understand that we can't allow for him to keep hurting you?"

Y/N took a few moments before responding. "I can't remember what his face looks like...When I'm asleep, I can see him, clear as day. Once I wake up, it's a blur." She paused, biting her bottom lip. "He smells like gin...a-and he's off," she paused looking at me,"like there's something wrong with him mentally," She returned to speaking with Dean, "he also has a European accent, he's not from here."

Y/N continued to speak about Morgan but I was distracted. As I held our egg in my lap, I felt sharp movement: our egg was trying to hatch. My wings moved to surround our egg protectively and my head began to pound. 

Dean looked at me as he ducked to avoid my wing as it curled. He searched my face silently as realization, happiness and then panic crossed his. 

_"I thought it was just a headache..."_ I heard him think.

_"It's happening now, Dean."_ I projected back at him.

His expressions were so slight that the other two didn't seem to notice. 

"Excuse me," I said as I stood. The egg began to crack further as I fought for composure and I realized that our little one was showing up at an inopportune time. I was experiencing disorientation.

"Cas?" Y/N said behind me. "Is everything okay?" She asked. 

Everyone knew.

I didnt respond because blue light began to pour out of the cracks. I heard Dean stand up and I turned to see him wincing in pain.

I curled my wings around our egg as I lost my balance and darkness consumed me.  
•••


	22. Chapter 22

**Dean**

The throbbing in my head was intense but panic made me push through the pain. 

I heard Sam and Y/N saying something to me but I didn't care. Only Castiel mattered.

They moved toward Cas and I held a hand up, stopping them in their tracks immediately. I felt defensive over my family.

Cas was on the ground, out cold, and his black wings were covering our egg. It took everything I had to move his massive wings, but I finally revealed our egg and pulled it into my lap.

It was cracked and blue light was coming from the cracks, like Cas'. 

I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be helping, but I breathed evenly and gently pulled back a tiny part of the smooth outer shell of the egg. 

My head stopped pounding.

I gently cracked more of the egg until I could see inside. It made my heart skip a beat.

The only thing I could see were little dark grey wings. They were fluffy and struggling to bust out of the shell.

"C'mon," I said gently. I looked up and realized Sam and Y/N had come to surround me.

I grinned up at them. "Look at his wings." I said, pride making me giddy.

I stuck my finger through the little hole and touched its wings gently. 

"Quite the abomination you've made there." A voice said behind us.

I recognized that voice. I turned to face her casually, setting the egg down and standing to square my shoulders. "What do you want Hannah?" I asked curtly.

Y/N's eyes flew wide open and looked at Sam for a confirmation that this was the home wrecking bitch.

She hadn't changed a bit. Dark brown hair and cold blue eyes. She looked at us like we weren't fit to be in her presence. She wore a white button up shirt and a black skirt. She couldn't be more obsessed with Castiel. There was a rumor that she dyed her wings to match his, and her diarrhea-brown colored roots were showing through.

She noticed me staring at her wings and she snarled. "So, the rumors are true. You can now gaze upon our wings."

When I didn't respond, Sam and Y/N exchanged confused looks before she continued.

"Dean," She said coldly, "I'm sure Castiel has told you of the Angels returning to the old ways." She looked at the egg with disgust. "You understand that I can't allow it to join us in the garrison."

I stared at her evenly. "He or she isn't going to be raised as an angel, so I guess it don't matter. You can be on your way, no harm done yet." 

She narrowed her eyes. "You don't understand what you're doing, Dean. That thing must be destroyed if all is to return to the way it once was-"

"Don't act like you're doing this for the good of everyone," I interrupted, "You and I both know you're only doing this so Cas and you can be together."

She smiled, "Castiel and I were meant to be. You need to accept that and stand down." Her eyes glowed bright blue. "We will not stand for this half-breed tarnishing everything-"

"Whoa!" I exclaimed loudly, "Enough of the borderline racist shit."

She was unamused. "Give it to me and no harm will come to any of you. " She took a step toward me and I heard Sam cock his handgun.

He was on my right. Y/N crouched in front of Castiel and the egg protectively. She stared at Hannah dangerously, flipping her knife across her knuckles. I searched both of their faces. They nodded back at me.

We wouldn't stand a chance against her, but we were going to fight. I sure as hell wasn't going to die before getting to meet my kid.

I grinned at her and reached for my gun. Y/N and Sam looked like coiled springs, they were ready to fight.

She glared at us,"I attempted to have mercy. You stand in the way of God's work and for that, you will all die." 

Her eyes glowed bright blue and we ran toward her, weapons raised.

Suddenly, she gasped as her hand flew to her chest. Her face twisted in pain as she drew her hand away, blood staining her white shirt.  Her eyes glowed once more and her wings caught fire before she dropped dead and revealed Cas standing behind her. His wings were fully extended. He held the angel blade in one bloody hand, while our infant balanced on his hip.

Our mouths hung open as he flipped the blade in his hand and placed it back into his pocket. 

His brows were furrowed, "I apologize for startling you all. He is male, by the way." He announced unceremoniously. "Now that that's out of the way, on to more pressing matters."

•••


	23. Chapter 23

**Cas**

I felt my grace hum quietly as the wrath left my eyes. I looked down at my child and saw a glow of red leave his. I would have to spend more time observing him, but I was sure that he was mimicking my behavior or picking up on my energy.

He looked up into my eyes and I felt my heart swell as his face exploded into a toothless smile. In terms of his age, I believed him to be between five and six months. Hatching an nephilim wasn't exactly a science.

His skin was soft and darker like mine. His hair was blonde like Dean's and his eyes were blue like mine. His wings were covered in fluffy gray and white down, but they would color with time. He was perfect.

Y/N looked startled. She had never seen that side of me. Our eyes met momentarily before she smiled at me and slid her knife back in her thigh holster. She walked toward me, eyes sparkling when she saw my son. 

"Lemme hold him?" Y/N asked genuinely. I was reluctant but ultimately let her hold him.

Y/N looked natural cradling a baby. She gently grabbed his foot and tickled it. "You are so handsome!" She cooed, nuzzling him.

He exploded with laughter, and quickly reached up to grab one of Y/N's curls. She was quicker though. She flipped her hair out of reach and he began to whimper. Before he could start crying, she turned his hand over and pressed loud kisses into his tiny palm, making him squeal happily again. 

Sam immediately put the safety on his gun and tucked it into the back of his jeans. He walked toward Y/N, grinning. He began making strange faces at my son. 

Sam's voice rose in pitch,"Hey, little guy! You're my nephew! My name is Sam!" He grinned excitedly at him.

My son looked up at Y/N with big innocent eyes before whimpering and hiding his face in her chest.

Sam's face dropped in disappointment as Y/N passed him back to me. I rubbed my sons back, attempting to soothe him. I realized Dean hadn't said anything. He was pale.

"Have you two thought of a name?" Sam asked, interrupting my thoughts.

I looked to Dean again and he nodded at me, silently giving me permission to share the name we picked out.

"His name is Robert Winchester." I said, feeling my feathers ruffle with pride. I turned to Y/N. "Could Dean and I have a moment alone? We'll continue the Morgan conversation later tonight, once Robert is asleep."

She nodded and dragged Sam out. Robert squirmed in my arms trying to get Dean's attention, but he remained silent.

I furrowed my brows and closed the distance between us. I rested my hand on his left shoulder and transported our family to our room. We needed privacy.  
•••

**Dean**

I still hadn't processed it.

I sat on our bed in silence because I couldn't process that I was a dad. It was different than the books said it was supposed to be. He's real and I'm responsible for the kind of person he's going to be. I was supposed to have this emotional teary experience but all I felt was panic. 

Cas had told me to take my time, so I watched him feed our kid in the rocking chair Sam and I built. 

If I raised him like dad raised us, I would just be repeating the cycle. Motel rooms every night, eating shit for breakfast, lunch and dinner, substance abuse and a premature death.

The upside to our shitty lifestyle was that it toughened our skin. Sam and I were the deadliest hunters on the planet. It was all I knew and I was good at it. We were at the top of the food chain...

Or I could raise him softer. I could get him into college. I could teach him guitar and let him be himself. I could let him go to prom. I could keep this life away fom him. To regular humans, he looked like one of them. They couldn't see his wings. He could assimilate.

The downside to that would be that I could never be completely honest with him. I didn't want to raise him to think secrecy was normal.

I was torn.

Cas startled me when he started singing quietly,

_"Hey, Jude, don't make it bad_  
Take a sad song and make it better  
Remember to let her into your heart  
Then you can start to make it better."

His gruff voice cracked on the last note but he cleared his throat and continued humming quietly.

Cas cradling Robert with bottle in hand was a strange but adorable sight. Cas looked so hard compared to him. Robert yawned loudly and Cas smiled beautifully.

I smiled at them and I finally felt relief as I realized that it wasn't all on me. I had Cas, so everything would work out. We were a team. I was going to do everything in my power to be a father that Robert deserves.

I got up and Cas stared into my eyes, silently hushing me because Robert had finally fallen asleep. 

I kissed Cas on the forehead and he smiled. 

When I finally spoke, my voice was hoarse,"Can I hold him?" I asked.  
•••


	24. Chapter 24

**Y/N**

The bell on the door jingled as I opened it. The smell of freshly baked goods filled the small bakery in lieu of customers. A broad man behind the counter counted the cash in the register.

Once Morgan realized we knew he was behind the hex bags, he hauled ass. Dean and Sam thought he was trying to weaken me psychologically before the real attack. 

We began tracking him, but he always seemed three steps ahead of us. Castiel thought this was reason to believe that the witch was still working with him. 

Without looking up, the broad man behind the counter said,"Welcome to Benny's, I'll be with you in a minute." His voice was deep and soaked with a southern drawl.

I walked up to the counter, letting my hips swing. "I was actually looking for Benny." I let sex drip into my voice.

The man behind the counter looked up cautiously before his face melted into a smirk. 

I was wearing beige heels and a short yellow sundress. My curls surrounded my face. I wasn't perceived as a threat. He wasn't going to run.

 His blue eyes scanned up and down my body appreciatively before leaning his elbows on the counter and smiling predatorily. "That'd be me, darlin'," His eyes grazed over my bare legs,"and what do I call you?" 

His voice was suggestive as his tongue darted out to wet his full lips.

"Y/N." I responded politely as I set my purse down on the counter,"the beignets look delicious..." I said casually as I tossed my hair and flashed a smile. "You bake all these yourself?" I let the spaghetti strap of my dress fall off my shoulder before slowly pushing it back up.

He took the bait. He stood up straight and towered over me. "Thank you, kindly. And I do. I bake all of these goods with a little help from the staff." He smiled down at me. "Can I box anything up for you, miss? On the house, of course."

I smiled warmly,"Actually...I was looking for someone," He visibly stiffened but made no move to run as I stared straight into his eyes,"his name is Morgan Alexander."

Benny narrowed his eyes, looking startled, before regaining his pleasant demeanor,"I'm afraid I don't know anyone by that name, sugar. But I do wish you luck in finding your...boyfriend?"

I smiled warmly,"I assure you, he's not my boyfriend..." I trailed off and walked over to look at the cupcake stand.

Benny was bad at hiding his curiousity. "So...What'd he do? Walk out on ya?" He tried so hard to keep the conversation casual as he started to wipe down the counter.

I had him. I kept my voice aloof, "He owes me, and Dean Winchester said you could help me."

He froze at the sound of Dean's name. He looked at me with soft eyes. "Dean-o sent you?"

I nodded once.

He sighed,"Look, I couldn't tell you where the nest is exactly, I don't run with that crowd...but if you have any maps or any information...I could take a look for Dean-Well, you, and try my best to figure out where he'll be next-"

"Excellent," I interrupted before he could back out. I took a napkin and scribbled directions to the bunker on it. I slid the napkin to him and smiled, "We'll be in touch."

  
•••

  
**Sam**

"I still don't understand why he has to come here." I said irritably.

She was setting out paper, pens, and maps to work with Benny.

Y/N rolled her eyes at me before responding, "Babe, I know you hate his guts but I need you to be cool."

I let it go and watched her, knowing this was going to end terribly. 

Dean didn't know that Benny was coming. I made sure that he and Cas would be out. It was getting warm, so Dean went to go take care of a salt and burn up north, while Cas took Robert out to pick strawberries. 

Dean swore me to secrecy about Benny...Y/N interrupted my thoughts by tugging my hair playfully. 

"It's gonna be fine," she said, kissing my cheek.  

I turned my face and used my free hand to cup her chin before planting a kiss on her mouth. 

She lingered for a moment before swatting my hand away, smiling. Her face was a little flushed. She was perfect.

"Benny is probably here," she snorted, turning to jog to the back door.

•••

"Shouldn't y'all be finishing up?" I said tensely, looking at the clock.

I knew I was getting on Y/N's nerves, but It was close to five and Benny was still here. Dean would be coming home soon. Y/N looked up from the maps viciously before Benny interjected. 

"I always forget you're from Kansas until a y'all comes out, Sammy." He said, half smiling.

I glared at him before he sighed and took the hint. He folded the maps up, and started stacking up papers neatly.

"I should be getting on, Y/N, we can finish this tomorrow." He said, standing to put on his coat.

Y/N saw the look I exchanged with Benny and decided not to argue. She shot me dirty look before she smiled at Benny pleasantly. "Thank you so much for your help, Benny, I finally feel like I'm getting closer to nailing this bastard to the wall."

Benny nodded politely as Y/N walked him towards the door. I felt relief wash over me.

As Benny reached for the door knob, the door swung open and revealed Dean. He locked eyes with Benny and stared at him blankly.

Benny was the first to break the silence. "Dean, it's good to see you...its been a few years."

Dean was still silent as Y/N stared up at him, happily.

"Hey, Dean, glad you're back, buddy! Benny and I actually just finished up!" Y/N said brightly, pushing the hair out of her face.

Dean said nothing but turned to face Y/N, staring at her dangerously.

"Why is he here?" Dean snapped at Y/N loudly. 

Her face dropped as she visibly flinched.

It took everything I had not to stand in between them. She didn't want me fighting her battles.

She narrowed her eyes at him and calmly responded, "I didn't know that this would be a problem, Dean. You said you trusted him and you gave me his number to-" 

"Of course there's a fucking problem," he cut her off loudly, "that's rule number one, don't bring anyone here. I thought that was clear. This isn't even your home to invite people to!" 

I clenched my jaw. Dean was pissing me off.

She looked hurt,"Dean, I'm sorry, I didn't know, I didn't mean-"

Dean slammed his shit down on the ground, making everyone jump, before he towered over her again, "Jesus Christ, I know that you're on a fucking mission but how about you start giving a fuck about how everyone else around you feels-" He was inches from her face before I grabbed his arm.

"Dean." I growled. "Back off."

The room was still as Y/N made a sniffling sound, breaking the silence.

I saw tears fill her big hazel eyes before she turned on her heel and walked out of the room. 

I glared at Dean, no words needed. He sagged his shoulders and rubbed the back of his neck. 

He felt guilty. 

He started towards my room, to find Y/N, but a voice made us all jump.

"Dean, why is he here?" Cas said quietly. He was holding Robert tightly. The little guy's shirt was stained red from the strawberries. 

In his other hand, he held a strawberry pie.

Benny finally spoke up,"Castiel! Good to see you brotha'," he looked at Robert and flashed a smile, "who's this little fella?"

"Do not speak to me or my son, or I will end your life, whore." Cas said calmly without looking at Benny.

Benny's eyes popped open before he regained his cool composure,"it was nice seeing you fellas, tell Y/N to meet me at my bakery after hours tomorrow and we'll finish up." He winked at me before letting himself out.

Dean, Cas, and I sat staring at each other until Castiel turned to me and spoke again.

"I assume this is your doing, Sam." He said curtly.  
•••


	25. Chapter 25

**Dean**

****2012****

_There was no sign of Cas anywhere and Sam wasn't looking for me._

_We'd been trapped in purgatory for six months and it had turned me into a pure killing machine. No remorse. No regret. No mercy._

_I mourned the loss of everything by burying myself inside my new friend. He bobbed up and down on my dick, the sucking noises making my toes curl._

_I growled from the loss of friction as he tried to come up for air. I gripped the back of his head and forced him to deep throat me. He gagged and released my dick from his mouth with a pop, looking pissed as ever._

_I rolled my eyes at him for being melodramatic as I gripped my cock to finish myself off on him with a strangled grunt._

_"Not satisfied with how I suck dick, now?" Benny frowned, losing patience. He got up off his knees and wiped the cum from his face and chest._

_I looked him straight in the eyes, "Clean yourself up. Please. We've got ground to cover." I zipped up my fly and walked to the river. I knelt down at the bank and rinsed my hands and face._

_Benny raised an eyebrow at me,"You know, Dean Winchester, you're mighty brave. Letting a vampire suck you off while you disrespect him." He let his fangs peek out._

_I rolled my eyes again and grunted. I wasn't in a mood._

_"Missing that boyfriend of yours?" Benny stated rather than asked. "He's an angel in purgatory, if he's not already torn to shreds he will be soon."_

_"Oh, so now you wanna use your mouth?" I asked, without looking at him._

_Benny looked hurt but I ignored him and stood up, walking back to the campsite._

_"So what if we actually find him, you gonna tell him you've been letting me fuck you into next year?" Benny quipped. He was angry that I was still hoping Castiel was alive._

_He got me. I hesitated before I turned to face him,"You're a vampire. I hope you know that I've definitely downgraded. Castiel's mouth felt like Heaven. I'm settling." I felt like a catty bitch trying to hurt him. I didn't really care about him. I just wanted to stop hurting. I used him as a cum dumpster and a punching bag._

_Benny looked at me sadly, "you take away all the fangs and fun, I was born human too. You can't play with me like this Dean, you know I care about you. It's not just about getting out of here."_

_I couldn't look at him. He reminded me of what I'd lost. "Let's move." I barked at him._

•••

****2016****

"He was a mistake, Castiel!" I yelled, dodging my flying clothing. 

Robert was in Sam and Y/N's room. 

Castiel's eyes glowed bright blue as tears streamed down his face. "You brought the man you cheated on me with to our home, Dean Winchester! GET THE HELL OUT!" His voiced boomed at me. 

I ducked as a lamp flew past my head into the wall behind me.

I swallowed the knot in my throat,"Cas, baby, please, please let me explain." I pleaded, grabbing his hand.

He pushed my hand away, "No! Everytime I look at you, I see him taking your dick in his mouth. I see his hands all over you. You BETRAYED me, Dean!" Castiel scream sobbed at me.

"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" I screamed at him, "I THOUGHT I HAD LOST EVERY SINGLE PERSON I HAD EVER CARED ABOUT! I COULDNT COPE CASTIEL, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO STOP PUNISHING ME?!"

"I NEVER STOPPED TRYING TO PROTECT YOU!" He screamed back, "I WAS A GODDAMN BEACON OF LIGHT IN THAT CESPOOL. I WAS KEEPING YOU SAFE, WHILE YOU BURIED YOUR COCK INSIDE SOMEONE ELSE!"

••••

****2013****

_We stood behind the bar smoking. I needed him to hear me._

_"You're really serious about him aren't you?" Benny asked, tears in his eyes._

_"Yeah. I'm gonna ask him to marry me someday, Benny. I'm on thin ice right now, and if we keep in contact, I'll never get him back." I said._

_Benny took a long drag of his cigarette before responding, "I love you, Dean-o. Always have, always will. I love you, so I'm gonna let you go."_

_He ashed his cigarette and kissed my cheek softly. He turned on his heel and started walking away. "If you need something, you know where to find me." He called over his shoulder._

_I watched his silhouette grow smaller and smaller until it disappeared into the night._

_I looked at the burner phone he gave me, to contact him. I hesitated before chucking it into the trash can nearby._

_I ashed my cigarette, climbed into Baby, and never looked back._

_•••_

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always welcome! I put a lot of myself into this and I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!


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